Category Archives: Average Blog Posts
Average Blog Posts
Blogs in this category (Average Blog Posts) have not been put into a category. This is where you can read a backlog of all Average Nobodies blogs.
Bloggers. Wrestling Enthusiasts. Beer drinkers. Movie Quoters. We have our cake and eat it too. Ryan Fogarty and Matt Vieira are The Average Nobodies.
You Guys, Bill O’Reilly Is Upset the Denver Post is Promoting the Use of Pot
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhDj8qFyXF0&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Bill O’Reilly is like a combination of the mother and father (RIP Jerry) from Dirty Dancing. No dancing, no drinking and definitely no smoking that reefer. It’s 2013, Bill. Pot is LEGAL in Colorado. Why wouldn’t the states biggest newspaper have someone writing about it? How else are coloradites going to know when the newest strain of Alaskan Ice is at their local dispensary? Honestly, the only reason Bill O’Reilly is still on the air is for stories like this. O’Reilly freaks out and throws a hissy fit, then he goes on Jon Stewart or Stephen Colbert, gets put in his place, then cowers back to Fox until he finds something else to moan about. Go back to your shanty, O’Reilly. America is tired of you.
– Ryan
Hey Colorado: Smoke All the Weed You Want, But Don’t You Dare Let Your Kid Kiss a Girl on the Cheek
Source – A 6-year-old boy has been suspended from a Colorado school for kissing a girl on the cheek.
School officials in Canon City are accusing Hunter Yelton of sexual harassment and they want it on his school record.
“They sent me to the office, fair and square. I did something wrong and I feel sorry”
– Hunter Yelton
The boy’s mother tells KRDO-TV her 
son was suspended once before for kissing the girl and had disciplinary problems, but the girl did not object to being kissed. She told the station that the two children like each other.
“They sent me to the office, fair and square. I did something wrong and I feel sorry,” Yelton told the station.
A School District RE-1 official says the repeat offenses meet the school policy definition of sexual harassment and they hope the tough standards will force the boy to change his behavior.
Yelton’s mother, Jennifer Saunders, wants sexual harassment removed from his record.
“I’m going to stand up and fight for him because that’s not the case, that’s not what happened at all,” she told the station.
This is the weirdest story I’ve ever read. Are they really charging this kid with sexual harassment? Is this real life? Seriously what the hell is happening in Colorado, or America in general for that matter. A 6 year old boy kissed a girl in his class on the cheek. Better call the National Guard. Better yet, let’s register this kid as a sex offender, lock him up for life and throw away the key. The worst part of this whole story is that the school is making poor Hunter feel like he did something wrong. And for whatever reason, the local news station actually took a statement from a 6 year old like he’s going on trial. When you suspend little kids for being little kids, you shouldn’t wonder why they grow up to be lunatics. This whole story reaffirms my belief that we might actually be living in a bizarro Matrix world. No other explanation for something like this actually happening.
– Ryan
Abercrombie CEO Mike Jeffries Should Look in the Mirror Before He Starts Calling People Fat
According to the NY Post, Mike Jeffries will stay on as CEO of Abercrombie for at least one more year. He’ll also be getting paid a fat (no pun intended) 7 figure salary. Apparently Abercrombie supports the views of Jeffries, because you don’t hand out millions of dollars to people whose views you disagree with. The move is baffling, but I’ll save that story for another day. What I do want to talk about is the face of Mike Jeffries. He’s on the record basically saying he only wants cool, in shape kids wearing Abercrombie clothes. The fact that a 69 year old is saying this is weird enough, but when you add in the fact that his face looks like an old catchers mitt, the story takes a hysterical turn. Mike Jeffries really has the balls to tell fat people that they can’t wear Abercrombie clothes?
Shame on you! You’d think someone who looks like that would try and shy away from the spotlight. Not Mike Jeffries. He trots his Rocky Dennis face and big fat lips out into the limelight and expects people to take him seriously. It’s weird enough that you’re 69 and obsessed with teenagers washboard abs. But next time your out in public or you feel the need to spew your warped views on who should wear your clothes onto the public, do everybody a favor and wear a ski mask. Ain’t nobody got time for that face!
– Ryan
P.S. I guess I’m considered fat by Mike Jeffries standards. I’m also a grown man and don’t want wear Abercrombie, but that’s besides the point. Abercrombie, you just lost the business of a customer who makes in or around $25,000 a year. Good luck replacing that.
Another One Bites the Dust: Alex Morgan is Engaged
I learned a long time ago that unless I want my kids physical peak to be an outfielder in men’s league softball I’d have to marry someone with some athletic ability. Alex Morgan was always on the top of that list. She’s a bonafide 10, and I looked forward to all the ketchup fights we were going to have together. Then she goes and gets engaged and completely pulls the rug out from under me. Coming out of left field with this longtime boyfriend/engagement crap. I guess my dreams of marrying an Olympic athlete will have to be put on hold a bit longer. Oh and Servando, if that is your real name, I have a little message for you..
-Ryan
Michael Sutton Eats Rocks
Michael Sutton, 36, was arrested last week after some high school students found him near their school, eating rocks and babbling on about meth, the Des Moines Register reported. – Huff Post
Oh! Eating rocks? Demented move, Michael. Can’t say that i’m surprised though, because once you hit rock bottom what else is there to eat? My question is, what was he eating the rocks with? Was he just plucking rocks off the ground and shoving them in his gullet, or was he dipping them in ketchup or barbecue sauce first? These are the questions that need to be answered.
Also, when someone says “eating rocks” I have to imagine that they are just swallowing them whole. I really doubt any chewing was happening. Rocks are tough as nails. There is no way a meth head could chew through rocks. I’m not even sure my genetically enhanced cow jaw could do that (True story, but for another time).
-Matt
Apparently It’s Ditka Day on Monday Night Football
Haunting to say the least.
-Matt
PS- Schefter looks like a total nerd and Tom Jackson rocks it the best.
Stupidest Move of the Century: No tailgating will be allowed at Super Bowl XLVIII
“You will be allowed to have food in your car and have drink in you car,” Kelly said. “And provided you’re in the boundaries of a single parking space, you’ll be able to eat or drink right next to your car. However you’re not going to be able to take out a lounge chair, you’re not going to be able to take out a grill and you’re not going to be able to take up more than one parking space. And it’ll all be watched very carefully.” – SI.com
This has got to be a bluff. I mean, there is no way Al Kelly is that evil, is there? How could you possibly take away tailgating at the SUPERBOWL. There has to be something in the bible against it, and if there isn’t then I think we should amend that.
This is a travesty on a bunch of different levels. For one, this year the Superbowl happens to be in New York, which, if you don’t own a map, is going to be cold as fuck. Grills and trash can fires are going to be all that keeps fans alive before the game. Secondly, what the hell is everyone going to do all those hours before the game on Superbowl Sunday? Are they expected to just show up on time like some kind of animal? This isn’t soccer, people!
If I know my NFL fans like I think I do, putting the kibosh on tailgating won’t stop these animals.
At least I can rest easy knowing that WWE isn’t this stupid. How were these guys (us)
supposed to finish this much beer
in the parking lot at 10am, without tailgating? Wouldn’t have happened.
-Matt
Happy 60th, John Malkovich
Happy Birthday to one of my all-time favorite actors, John Malkovich. Here’s to you, Johnny!
Can’t forget his best movie!
-Matt
PS- Con Air is like an all star game for acting. Cusack, Malkovich, Cage?! There are two kinds of people in this world: People who love Con Air and dirty, whorish liars.
