Category Archives: Average Blog Posts
Average Blog Posts
Blogs in this category (Average Blog Posts) have not been put into a category. This is where you can read a backlog of all Average Nobodies blogs.
Bloggers. Wrestling Enthusiasts. Beer drinkers. Movie Quoters. We have our cake and eat it too. Ryan Fogarty and Matt Vieira are The Average Nobodies.
Of Course There’s a Festivus Pole in the Florida Capitol
Source – Countering the first-ever nativity scene to be displayed at the Florida Capitol, a South Florida man has installed a Festivus pole in the Capitol rotunda Wednesday, right next to the Christmas manger scene a Christian group set up last week.
The pole, built using empty Pabst Blue Ribbon beer cans, is in celebration of the parody holiday made popular by a holiday episode of “Seinfeld.”
Chaz Stevens received permission from the state of Florida to install the Festivus pole.
Both Stevens and the Florida Nativity Scene Committee, which put up the manger scene, think the other group’s display is laughable, and more than a few visitors have stopped to laugh about what they called “the nonsense of it all.”
Beneath the rival displays, however, lies a serious question about just where the line between church and state should be drawn. Stevens said he wanted to make a statement that government should not be endorsing any religion.
You knew Florida wasn’t going to go quietly into the night this holiday season. Too many psychopaths in a confined area for there not to be a religious war of some kind. Chaz Stevens is leading that charge. Florida wants to set up a manger in the state capitol? Chaz Stevens will erect a Festivus pole made out of Pabst Blue Ribbon cans. Does it matter that Festivus is a fake holiday created by Frank Costanza in Seinfeld? Not if you’re Chaz Stevens, and not if you’re from Florida. If the government is going to recognize one religious holiday, you bet your ass someone from Florida is going to make them recognize every other one too.
– Ryan
Of Course a Florida Team Would Do Something Like This
So, a glass panel at the Florida Panthers game broke last night, but don’t you worry they had their best guys on it! Easy fix, just throw come cardboard up. Like just completely ignoring the fact that they have no backup pieces of glass. Contingency plans are for the weak, I guess. One problem, Mozart, cardboard isn’t transparent! The fans sitting in the first couple rows behind that monstrosity should have just stayed home and listened on the radio. Although staying at home in Florida doesn’t always mean your safe***
-Matt
*** See Ryans article about a Floridian who stabbed his brother over Mac n’ Cheese.
***UPDATE*** I have been told that this actually was a piece of glass but they couldn’t peel the protective paper off it, which is 1,000 times worse.
ICP Watches a Selena Gomez Music Video
I could literally listen to these guys talk all day. Half the time I don’t know what they are talking about, and the other half is me wondering if they know either. My favorite part about these videos are the fact corrections that pop up on screen. Not because it’s hilarious that they are SO wrong on certain things, but because they wanted those put in. Just completely shameless. Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope could have 100 TV shows and I would watch all of them.
-Matt
Here’s Johnny!
Beyond excited for this weeks Saturday NIght Live with 13-time host, John Goodman!
-Matt
Monsterblog Wednesday: Superpowers – Flying or Invisibility?
It’s that age old question that philosophers have argued over for centuries: would you rather have the ability to fly, or be invisible?
Flying
I’m not talking about wearing one of those weird winged suits. I’m talking straight up rainbow colored sweatshirt flying. Basically Superman without the dashing good looks and superhuman strength. Just a guy who can literally fly while everyone else is stuck walking around like an asshole. The cool thing about flying, which invisibility lacks, is the notoriety factor. If I’m the only guy in the world who can fly there’s a solid chance that I start hanging around with hot chicks. Every hot chick on the planet is going to want to know what it’s like to fly. That’s where I come in. The only thing I’d have to perfect is my technique. I think I’d fly around in the moon man position. Just floating backwards across the sky. If I can get that down, maybe Clooney and I can finally be friends after all.
Invisibility
Invisibility, the mother of all superpowers. Don’t get me wrong, I think flying would be epic, but not being able to been seen is much better. No need to buy a house if your invisible, just find an open room at a gigantic mansion and you are all set. Having been born and raised in Rhode Island I would probably head over to Newport and take up residency in either the Breakers Mansion or the Marble House. Need a car? Head down to the dealership and take whichever one you desire. Not to mention you wouldn’t have to pay for movies, theme park admission, or any sporting event EVER. You would never have to work, and no one would be studying you under a microscope. Best part? I can finally go live with Jennifer Lawrence. Even though she won’t know i’m there, but i’m cool with that.
-Matt
What would you pick?
Choo! Choo! All Aboard the Emmy Rossum Bandwagon
All aboard! Choo choo! Anyone who has been watching Shameless already knows Emmy Rossum is a classic triple threat option, but I’m going to remind you anyway. She’s smart (graduated high school at 15, attended Stanford and Columbia) sexy and one hell of a talented actress. Besides Shameless, she has starred in a wide array of movies, including Phantom of the Opera and The Day After Tomorrow. But back to Shameless. Rossum plays Fiona, the lead character in a crazy talented ensemble cast. Without getting too into the plot of the show, Fiona takes care of her younger brothers and sisters while her substance dependent father and hit or miss (mostly miss) mother are usually nowhere to be found. She’s been killing it ever since the show debuted in 2011. Also, I’d be foolish not to mention that she has grade A boobs, boobs which you see quite a bit in the show. Moral of the story: Emmy Rossum is awesome. Shameless season four starts January 12th.
– Ryan
Obama Taking a Selfie with PM David Cameron is Top News on USA Today…
“Oh-M-Gee, you guys! Let’s take a selfie!”
-Matt
PS – This was at Nelson Mandela’s memorial service.
PSS- Michelle couldn’t care less about selfies.
