Category Archives: Average Blog Posts

Average Blog Posts

Blogs in this category (Average Blog Posts) have not been put into a category. This is where you can read a backlog of all Average Nobodies blogs.

Bloggers. Wrestling Enthusiasts. Beer drinkers. Movie Quoters. We have our cake and eat it too. Ryan Fogarty and Matt Vieira are The Average Nobodies.

Herbalife is Building a 1.34 Million Dollar Lobby in Washington D.C.

Source – Herbalife is spreading around the cash to beat back Bill Ackman’s claim it is a pyramid scheme.

The controversial protein shake seller this year for the first time spent more than $1 million lobbying in Washington, DC.

The multilevel marketing (MLM) company has long been known for its strong presence in the nation’s capital — but the $1.34 million it spent in 2013, as of Oct. 28, dwarfs its typical spending, records show.

The previous record was in the election year of 2008, when it spent $880,000, according to the Center for Responsive Politics. It spent $810,000 in 2012.

Herbalife’s largesse exceeds that of other companies in its industry, including the biggest MLM, Amway, which spent $330,000 last year.

It even surpasses pharmaceuticals, whose need for regulatory drug approval keeps them forking over the cash.

For example, Herbalife outspent McKesson Corp., whose $37 billion market cap is more than quadruple Herbalife’s $7.9 billion. McKesson spent only $1.13 million, records show.

Herbalife also outspent its foe, Ackman’s Pershing Square, almost tenfold. Pershing Square, which has a $1 billion short bet on Herbalife, spent $138,000 lobbying this year.

Herbalife denies Ackman’s charges. It began increasing its lobbying efforts as three Democratic Hispanic lawmakers in Washington joined Ackman in calling for an investigation of the company by the Federal Trade Commission.

In a recent letter to investors, Ackman criticized Herbalife’s lobbying efforts, saying its “response to Pershing Square is unprecedented in the history of short selling,” including “in the halls of Congress.”

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I guess it was only a matter of time before Herbalife stepped up to the big boys league. Any company who wants to make a big splash on the market builds a million dollar lobby. Caesar’s Palace. Trump Towers. Enterprise. All beautiful lobby’s. Now we can add Herbalife to that exclusive list. The difference between Herbalife and those other companies is that Herbalife actually helps people. For a small fortune they put you on a weight loss program that will have you feeling blessed and grateful in no time. Add in their new lobby, and you have a recipe for success.

– Ryan

When You’re Steve Carell Everyone Else is Playing Catchup

If Steve Carell thinks you are doing a bad job at something he is just going to step in and take over. That’s what true professionals do. “Oh, this [Smoke] weather girl isn’t living up to Steve’s expectations on how UK weather should be portrayed? Step aside and let Brick Tamland do his thing.”

Michael Scott doing Michael Scott things.

 

-Matt

8-Year-Old Finds Porn On Nintendo System He Got For Christmas

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A Hampton, Va., father wants answers after his 8-year-old son discovered porn on a Nintendo handheld gaming console that he got for Christmas. Tom Mayhew told Virginia TV news website WAVY that his son and some otheryoung children discovered pornographic stills on the gaming system when he was playing with it Christmas morning. – HuffPost

 “The Time For Giving”, indeed. I guess this is just Nintendo’s way of telling its customers “welcome to manhood, here is some porn”. For fathers on Christmas the only thing more inconvenient than installing batteries and putting together toys is have a premature “birds and bees” talk.

-Matt

Alan Silvestri’s Acoustic Version of the Back to the Future Theme Song is Awesome

This is what I call maximizing your talent. If you have the ability to play the acoustic guitar like Alan and you’re not playing covers of classic movie theme songs then you’re wasting your time. Back to the Future is the best trilogy of all time and it’s not even a debate.

– Ryan

H/T BuzzFeed

A 600 Person Brawl On Christmas As the State of Florida Refuses to Go Quietly Into the Night

Source – Five teenagers were arrested when a 600-person brawl broke out in a Florida movie theater’s parking lot on Christmas night.

Described by police as a “melee,” the fight occurred around 8:30 p.m. on Wednesday outside the Hollywood River City 14 movie theater in Jacksonville when a group tried to storm the theater’s doors without purchasing tickets, police said. Several had rushed an off-duty police officer working as a security guard.

The officer “administered pepper spray to disperse the group, locked the doors and called for backup, following protocol,” said Lauri-Ellen Smith, a spokeswoman for the Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office.

Soon after the pepper spray was used, “upward of 600 people moving throughout a parking lot about the size of a football field began fighting, disrupting and jumping on cars,” she said.

Sixty-two police officers were called to the scene to break up the brawl, “sequestering them and separating them,” Smith said.

Only minor injuries and damage to property were reported. No gunshots were fired, according to Smith.

All five of the people arrested on the scene were charged with crimes related to fighting. Three of those arrested, including one minor, were charged with felonies. Two other juveniles, who have not been named by police, were charged with misdemeanors.

Tevyn Alonza Davis, 19, was charged with resisting arrest and breach of the peace. Jaquade Marquis Miller, 18, was charged with fighting and resisting arrest. Khalil Ahmad Bradley, 17, the only minor charged with a felony, was arrested for resisting arrest, refusal to disperse and breach of the peace.

Davis and Bradley each “took a fighting stance” when confronted by police and told to leave the area, according to arrest reports. Miller, too, “took an aggressive stance” when told by police to leave the parking lot.

According to the movie theater’s website, the cinema was showing “Tyler Perry’s A Medea Christmas,” “47 Ronin,” “Grudge Match,” “Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues” along with several other movies.

Oh Florida. There are just so many aspects to this story that I love. Teenagers storming movie theater doors so they wouldn’t have to pay for a ticket. Kids fighting cops. 600 people who have nothing better to do on Christmas night than fight in a movie theater parking lot. My question is what were the people storming the movie theater doors going to do if they actually got past security? Did they think they would be able to just watch Tyler Perry’s A Madea Christmas? Did they think security was just going to tip their hat and let them walk out of there? Poor planning on their part. Everyone knows you have to utilize the 3 for 1 special. You suck it up and pay for one movie, then hop from theater to theater to watch the other two. Not in Florida. In Florida you storm the movie theater and start a massive brawl. I had a feeling we’d hear from the craziest state in the world before the new year, and they did not disappoint. Beethoven had symphony 9. Florida now has their Christmas brawl.

– Ryan

Seth Meyers Tweeted Out His Favorite Sketch From Each New Cast Member Because Seth Meyers is the Man

Seth Meyers is the classiest guy around. The Weekend Update desk, and Saturday Night Live in general, will definitely miss him.

– Ryan

Happy Birthday, Devin

Happy Birthday, my sweet princess.

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If you ever need two handsome, strapping young men to help you promote women’s bikinis you know where to find us.

Monster Blog Thursday – New Year Resolutions

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It’s the tale as old as time and song as old as rhyme – new year resolutions. It’s that glorious time of year! The time where everyone puts out their goals for the new year!  It’s a time for gym membership renewals, shopping at Whole Foods, giving up swearing, and overall being nicer to others…..for about the first month. In honor of this yearly tradition here are our new year, or at least January, resolutions.

One Snap Chat Per Day

I admit it. I am an over Snap Chatter. I am constantly snapping and sending pictures and videos to my friends via this new and great app. However, I do realize that I might need to cut down. So, for 2014 I will try limiting myself to one snap a day. TRY. How is the world going to live without snap chats like this?!

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-Matt

Wear More Hoodless Sweatshirts

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I’m done lying to myself. I’m not going to change my diet or go to the gym more (at all). I’m perfectly content with my lifestyle. Is it the healthiest lifestyle around? Probably not, but Evil Knievel wasn’t healthy either and he turned out okay. What I can, and will change, is my wardrobe. I need to wear more hoodless sweatshirts. Plain and simple. Old men are always ahead of the curve when it comes to clothing, and the amount of old men that wear hoodless sweatshirts are astronomical. In fact, the more I wear hoodless sweatshirts the healthier I’ll probably become. Killing two birds with one stone, which also happens to be another new years resolution, but I’ll save that for another day.

– Ryan