Category Archives: Average Blog Posts
Average Blog Posts
Blogs in this category (Average Blog Posts) have not been put into a category. This is where you can read a backlog of all Average Nobodies blogs.
Bloggers. Wrestling Enthusiasts. Beer drinkers. Movie Quoters. We have our cake and eat it too. Ryan Fogarty and Matt Vieira are The Average Nobodies.
Monster Blog Wednesday – Favorite Forms of Pre-electricicty Communication
This week’s Monster Blog focuses on forms of communication pre-dating electricity. Essentially, if you could go back in time what would be your preferred method of communication? How would you tell your bros to meet you down at the waterhole or to get ready for a hunt? Here is how The Average Nobodies would do it.
Giraffe
First off, I know what you’re thinking. “Matt, where the hell are you going to find a giraffe”. Let me just say…I know a guy. Sending message by giraffe is a triple threat of communication skills. 1. Height. Need to send a message to someone on the third floor? Done. 2. Speed. Not quite as fast as a cheetah, but with giant strides of its giant legs my message will be half way across town in 5 steps flat. And 3. Riding ability/style. If I ever need a ride anywhere i’d be traveling around in style. Might even mount it by sliding down its neck. Fred Flinstone style.
-Matt
Message in a Bottle
I hate birds, so that immediately disqualifies pigeons or hawks or ravens. The next best thing is naturally a message in a bottle. You ever see that Kevin Costner movie? That would be if I grew up before electricity. Just collecting bottles and letting the tides do the rest. Luckily I’m a patient man, so I have no problem waiting for that special someone to get my message of love. In the meantime, I develop a longevity potion that quadruples my life expectancy. In the year 2014, Clooney finally gets my message start in a modern adaptation of Romeo and Juliet. End scene.
– Ryan
I Knew I Loved Michelle Rodriquez
Love this girl! Just getting totally wasted and making out with other chicks at a Knicks game. Skull pattern shirt, puffing on an e-cig, watching JR Smith untie his opponents shoes, and making out with model, Cara Delevingne. If I was a movie star that is EXACTLY how I would spend my Tuesday nights. Michelle, I think we should hang out. Have you ever fake wrestled in a bar? I think you would enjoy it.
The ‘My Spy Birdhouse’ is the Creepiest Product in the History of the World
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSMADr64G9o&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Have you ever wanted to see INSIDE a birdhouse? Have you ever wanted to spy on birds and see exactly what the fuck they’re doing in there? No. I can honestly say I’ve never wanted to spy on a bunch of birds in their birdhouse. It’s not like their having philosophical discussions on how to save the world or watching movies on big screen TVs. They’re throwing up in each other’s mouths and sleeping and having sex with each other. You wanna know who the next psychotic serial killer is? Monitor anyone who buys this product. It starts with spying on birds and ends with wearing your neighbor’s skin as a coat.
– Ryan
Everyone Needs to Cool Their Jets and Leave Jameis Alone
This 20 year-old kid just won the LAST BSC Title on his birthday! How could you possibly get on his post-game speech?! The kid must have been floored. Oh, that’s right, he also won the Heisman this year. Give him a break. At least what he said made sense. Can’t say that for all athletes.
Oh, and fuck AJ’s mom. Who cares what YOU have to say
-Matt
Tebow is Already Better at the Desk Life than he Ever Was at QB
It’s also not fair that Jesus is whispering the score into his ear. Missing the prediction by a point is how you throw off the scent of the heavenly father giving you a hand.
-Matt
The End of The BCS Era – This Video is AWESOME
If you watch one video today, let it be this one. A short tribute to the BCS done by ESPN. Well done, ESPN.
-Matt
Jake “The Snake” Roberts Surprised the World on Raw Last Night and it Was Awesome
Anyone who’s followed this story from the beginning has to be happy for Jake Roberts. His personal demons almost killed him but with the help of DDP Yoga he transformed his life and looks great. Far and away the best part of Raw, mostly because it was so unexpected. The best moment for me was watching Ambrose, a professed chikdhood Jake Roberts fan, with a big smile on his face when Jake put the snake on him. Let’s hope Jake sticks around, and gets one more moment in the sun at the Rumble.
– Ryan
“Red Lightning” Must be Hard as a Rock Right Now
FSU is coming off a HUGE comeback win over Auburn and their ball boy, “Red Lightning”, must be beyond jazzed up. If the ACC had an all-star team for ball boys then “Red Lightning” would be a perennial All-pro. This guy has everything a good ball boy needs: Eyes like a hawk, hustle that doesn’t quit, the ability to carry multiple footballs at one time, and ruthless aggression towards the other team. Don’t believe me? Here’s his highlight reel.
-Matt
