Category Archives: Average Blog Posts
Average Blog Posts
Blogs in this category (Average Blog Posts) have not been put into a category. This is where you can read a backlog of all Average Nobodies blogs.
Bloggers. Wrestling Enthusiasts. Beer drinkers. Movie Quoters. We have our cake and eat it too. Ryan Fogarty and Matt Vieira are The Average Nobodies.
What the Hell is Elizabeth Hurley’s Problem?
Source – Model Elizabeth Hurley has taken to Twitter to deny a tabloid report that she had an affair with President Bill Clinton while he was still in office, calling it “ludicrously silly” and “totally untrue.”
Ludicrously silly stories about me & Bill Clinton. Totally untrue. In the hands of my lawyers. Yawn.
— Elizabeth Hurley (@ElizabethHurley) February 5, 2014
In this situation I understand if the man or woman involved goes into “deny, deny, deny” mode, because you don’t want your dirty laundry being aired for all the world to see. But in this case, if I’m Elizabeth Hurley, and I have the honor bestowed upon me of sleeping with ol’ Billy boy, I’m accepting that like an Oscar (which she’ll never get. ZING). Even if it didn’t happen, you go with it. William Jefferson Clinton is the definition of a horn dog, who just so happened to also be President of the United States. So live a little, Liz. Worst comes to worst you’re Eskimo sisters with Monica Lewinski.
– Ryan
Monster Blog Wednesday – Hypothetical Countries
The great countries of the future won’t be Russia or Japan or the US. They’ll be the NEW countries created by future generations. With our genetics and the advancements in modern science, the Average Nobodies plan on living to at least 200-250 years old. That should give us plenty of time to develop a new country that will challenge any world superpower. Any powerhouse country needs a plan, fancy flag, motto, animal and food and beverage. That’s where we come in.
The Land of Ryan
Motto: To be the man, woooo, you have to beat, the man.
National Animal: Rhinoceros
National Food & Drink: Meatloaf and Arnold Palmer’s
The Land of Ryan is like The Land of Oz except it’s completely different. We’re stationed on planet Earth, right in between Italy and Denmark (my geography is rusty). The occupants of The Land of Ryan are a simple people, a noble people. Our cars operate on beer and our chief export is wrestling action figures. Rhinoceros roam free, which makes The Land of Ryan consistently dangerous, but on the bright side, we have a lot of meatloaf and Arnold Palmer’s. We’re not modern day Switzerland, but we try to get along with everyone, except of course, the creatures of Colonizar. They can go to hell.
– Ryan
Colonizar
Motto: To Infinity, and Beyond
National Animal: Chimpanzee
National Food & Drink: Tang and freeze-dried ice cream
Colonizar means “Colonize” in Spanish. You probably will recognize Colonizar on a U.S. map. It is a large southeastern peninsula located on the continental United States that was once filled with crazy people. Yes, Colonizar is located on the land that was once the sunshine state, Florida. After President Schwarzenegger awarded me the land (He owed me one) I immediately got to work on fulfilling our country motto. I establish Disney World as the capital and setup shop at the Vieira Space Center (Kennedy has no meaning in Colonizar). Chimpanzees were the first animal in space so naturally they are our countries national animal. Chimpanzees are so loved in Colonizar that they almost outnumber people 3 to 1 in the capital, which is fine, because they are more helpful, and smarter, than the workers we adopted.
We are a nomadic people that look to the stars as a way of expansion…and a way to get away from the leftover Floridians. We have two foreign policies: 1) We don’t deal in money. If we want something we trade for it. Wheeling and dealing is kind of our thing. And 2), Land of Ryan is filled with a bunch of jerk faces that will not be able to ride into space with us.
-Matt
People Walking in the Streets Are the Worst Part of a Snowstorm
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Why? Why do so many people walk in the street during a snowstorm? The roads are already narrow enough because 99% of plows do a terrible job. Now I have to dodge adults and children who think it’s a smart idea to walk in the street while cars are sliding out of control? I don’t think so. Either drive your car to work or stay in your house. Don’t walk around the streets and pretend it’s a Winter Wonderland, because it’s not. It’s Hell on Earth. I gotta go to work.
– Ryan
Malcom Smith is Going to Disney World!
These commercials give me goosebumps every year. There is something about that damn mouse mixed with the NFL that gets me all goopy inside. Love it
I love that the ad has changed 0.00% in 30 years.
-Matt
I’m Here To Set The Record Straight About Separated Shoulders
Demaryius Thomas managed to set the Super Bowl record for receptions, despite sustaining a separated shoulder in the first quarter. -SBNation.com
Ok, so this story about D. Thomas playing through most of the Super Bowl with a separated shoulder is just starting to gain steam on the interment, and while the feat is a testament to the mental and physical toughness of this tremendous athlete I need to set the record straight.
He didn’t throw himself off a steel cage and through a table to separate the shoulder, and then, after fighting his way off a stretcher, climb back to the top of the cage (fucked up shoulder and all) to get choke slammed through the cage onto his back. He just didn’t. Apples and oranges. This might be the only spot in WWE history that Vince had no part of that made the show BETTER…….Who am I kidding, Vince knows everything.
-Matt
Jared “Hefty Lefty” Lorenzen is still at it!
It’s Shocking to me that Jared “Hefty Lefty” Lorenzen is still alive, never mind still playing Football. Jamarcus Russell should take notes on how to be 300+ pounds and still play football. Jared has it down to a science.
LORENZEN SCRAMBLIN’ AND SLANGIN’!!! https://t.co/JKqwy6sefb
— John Feitelberg (@JFeitelberg) February 4, 2014
Not going to lie, he looks like how I would Imagine Rob Ford would look like if he had any coordination and played football.
With nicknames like: The Round Mound of Touchdown and The Pillsbury Throwboy, you have to play the game as long as you can. Awesome nicknames don’t grown on trees.
-Matt
PS- His younger, more “fit” days.
