Category Archives: Average Blog Posts
Average Blog Posts
Blogs in this category (Average Blog Posts) have not been put into a category. This is where you can read a backlog of all Average Nobodies blogs.
Bloggers. Wrestling Enthusiasts. Beer drinkers. Movie Quoters. We have our cake and eat it too. Ryan Fogarty and Matt Vieira are The Average Nobodies.
Derek Jeter is Calling it A Career
After this season, and after playing a spectacular 20 season career with the Yankees, Derek Jeter is ready to move on to life after baseball.
First Mo, now Jeets? I can’t imagine the emotions flowing through New Yorkers right now, but I imagine it looks something like this.
-Matt
PS – GO SOX
Monster Blog Wednesday – New Olympic Events
All this Olympic stuff on the TV has got The Average Nobodies thinking (and that can be dangerous). We were thinking why watch the same events over and over and over again? We want some variety with our world-wide winter sporting events. So here it goes, The Average Nobodies are creating two all-new Winter Olympics events we hope get picked up by the time the next time these games roll around.
Freestyle Snow Angels
Easy addition to the winter Olympics. What was the first thing I did when I saw fresh pow pow as a kid? Fall-ass first into it and start making snow angels like a madman of course. No snow day was complete until I made 1,000,000 Matt angels in my front lawn. Just pure ecstasy.
Now fast forward 20 years and i’m ready to take my talents to the big league. Snow angels will be scored on 3 facets: Entry, form, and exit.
Entry is exactly how it sounds; How gracefully can you get into snow angel position? Flopping Bron Bron style isn’t going to cut it. Put some showmanship in your routine. Form is how you flap them arms and legs. Judges are looking for 3 things: RHYTHM, RHYTHM, RHYTHM. Don’t just flap wildly. That’s not going to get you the gold. Lastly, judges will be judging you on your exit. How carefully can you get up so that you don’t screw up your masterpiece. This was always is hardest feat to complete and scoring will be weighted as such. Make the perfect snow angel and even YOU could be an Olympic hero.
Just don’t count on the gold; i’m taking that home at every Olympics until I die. Nobody makes a snow angel like Big Fudge.
-Matt
Dodge Beer
I’ve been lobbying for this to become an Olympic event for years. It’s the greatest drinking game in history, and it deserves to take it’s rightful spot in the Olympic games. Beer drinkers have been ignored for centuries when it comes to Olympic events. Just because we enjoy a few beers here and there doesn’t mean we should be shunned from glory. Dodge beer is a simple game. 4 citizens from every country form a team. The game is played 4 via 4, with 4 beer cans each (8 total), a ping pong ball and a picnic table. The best beer drinkers win. Simple as that for your simple ass. Instead of gold, silver and bronze medals, winning countries get free beer for specific time periods.
Bronze – 1 year
Silver – 5 years
Gold – 4 lyfe
– Ryan
At the Olympics Canada Reminds the World that they Love 2 Things: Building Fridges and Drinking Beer
I am so mad at America for not thinking of this. Like so mad that I might move to the great white north so I don;t ever have to be embarrassed like this again. This was a chance for America to show the world how clever we are at drinking beer. Instead, our friendly neighbors to the north are stealing the show over in Sochi. Canada, over the past year you have truly made me a jealous American; Rob Ford and now this? I might be applying for citizenship very soon.
Thanks a lot, Obama…
-Matt
Here is the fridge in action. Thanks to The Verge for the tip!.
CM Punk Took a Nose Dive On My Favorite Wrestlers List
For those of you not up on recent WWE happenings, CM Punk, the self proclaimed “best in the world”, has up and quit the WWE. Just straight walked out on operations the day after the Royal Rumble. Took his ball and went home, ala Stone Cold. No reason for it and, publicly, nobody has heard from him since. Past issues with Punk leads me to believe that he wasn’t happy with how the company was using him, and you know what, Punk? If that is the reason then you need to seriously reevaluate your situation. Between 2012 and 2013 nobody, and I mean nobody, was bigger in the WWE than CM Punk and his loud mouth manager, Paul Heyman. CM Punk owned the squared 
circle. Girls wanted him and guys wanted to be him. Somehow he thought that changed in the past few months. Got news for ya, it didn’t. Go ahead and replay any WWE event since Punk’s departure. “CM Punk” chants can be heard throughout the night, and to be honest it is ruining some of the best programming WWE has put on in years. Fans need to realize this is the fault of the WWE. WWE didn’t show Punk the door, neither did they want to, Punk walked out all on his own. Say what you will about Batista’s win at the Rumble, but HHH and Vince, like always, have a pulse on whats going on with the WWE Universe.
From what is rumored, Vince has been meeting with Punk. Which is gracious on his part. I would have told Punk to go fuck himself. Punk fell way off my list after this stunt.
-Matt
PS- What are you going to do? Go wrestle for TNA? Only a matter of time before you shoot a funeral home promo. That’s when you know you’ve hit pro-wrestling rock bottom.
Chris Kattan’s Mugshot is Not Pretty
Not looking great, Chris. But I guess that’s what happens when you get a DUI and smash into a parked Department of Transportation car. What is love? Apparently it’s gaining 100 pounds in your head and neck area.
– Ryan
Bob Costas Might Actually Be Dying
Pull yourself together Costas! You’re scaring the children. I know he’s trying to soldier on here but it looks like he needs some serious medical treatment. How can he see the teleprompter? Somebody get him to a hospital ASAP. At this point, the only thing that could save Costas’s broadcast would be a double eye patch. They cure all ills.
– Ryan
