Category Archives: Average Blog Posts
Average Blog Posts
Blogs in this category (Average Blog Posts) have not been put into a category. This is where you can read a backlog of all Average Nobodies blogs.
Bloggers. Wrestling Enthusiasts. Beer drinkers. Movie Quoters. We have our cake and eat it too. Ryan Fogarty and Matt Vieira are The Average Nobodies.
John Travolta May Be Losing His Mind
John Travolta has exited a kingdom of isolation to make a statement about his now-infamous Idina Menzel gaffe during Sunday’s Oscars.
“I’ve been beating myself up all day. Then I thought … what would Idina Menzel say … ‘She’d say, Let it go, let it go!'” Travolta, who introduced Menzel as “Adele Dazeem,” said via his publicist. “Idina is incredibly talented and I am so happy ‘Frozen’ took home two Oscars Sunday night!”
Travolta’s flub was an instant viral smash, spawning fake Twitter accounts (here’s our favorite) and the “Adele Dazeem Name Generator” (HuffPost Entertainment becomes Hubert Edjans). According to E! News, Menzel herself was not fazed by the mistake: “She thought it was so funny. She was like, ‘What are you going to do?'” a source told the website.
Poor Danny. He’s got the eyes of a wet mop now. And he’s definitely not racing for pinks. OK so I was going to do this whole post with Grease quotes but I’ll save that for another day. On the real though (new catch phrase) John Travolta had one job Sunday: talk for 30 seconds and introduce an Oscar nominated singer who’s name was on the teleprompter in front of him. I’m not part of the camp who is saying he should have known her name because I haven’t seen Frozen and I have no idea who Idina Menzel is. But I am part of the camp who expects a professional actor to be able to pronounce a name on a teleprompter correctly. Naturally he just apologized like a normal person and now We can put this whole thing behind us. Oh wait, no he didn’t. He started singing the song of the musician who’s name he pronounced wrong. GOOD. Love me some John Travolta, but ever since his weird beach dancing commercial I can’t say I completely trust him. He’s losing his mind, and someone is going to reap the benefits.
– Ryan
Reason #235322 Why Jimmy Fallon and The Roots are an Awesome Duo
Take Jimmy Fallon and The Roots, sprinkle in some children’s toys and Rachel’s mom from Glee and you have…..awesomeness.
-Matt
The Doctah is In: Charles Manson & Coconuts
Ok, so you see Charles Manson above. Not a cool guy. However, he was a very intelligent man, just too twisted for his own agenda. Spiderman said it best, “With great power comes great responsibility”. This guy forgot that if you are responsible for controlling people, you are ultimately responsible for their actions.
This intro leads me to my next doctor-esque statement: although I do not have a PhD, I could easily diagnose Mr. Manson as having a true Chemical Imbalance in his brain. Chemicals are called HORMONES. Stay with me.
Short aside: If you are Chinese and are referring to this page for correcting ailments, then a chemical imbalance is considered an imbalance of yin and yang energy. Have you ever met someone ultimately good? No. Well, maybe Jesus. Or Black Jesus, who knows. Have you ever seen or met someone very evil? (See above). Too much yang energy.
HOWEVER, there is a fix.
Now I’m not claiming I could fix Charles Manson. What I am saying, is I could make it so we could harness what he knows, and make him a more positive person. Maybe we could make him become conscious of his imbalance and his overdose of yang energy.
OK, so I’m not a dick. I’m not gonna leave you hanging.
Who loves COCONUTS? I do.
What is concentrated COCONUTS? Coconut Oil.
What does coconut oil do? Balances hormones.
What does that mean? It makes you a little less crazy.
So that means, if you balance your hormones, you can balance your yin and yang energy, thus making you a little less crazy.
And how do you do this?
FUCKIN COCONUTS.
Don’t believe me? GOOGLE IT. I WANT YOU TO.
And finally back to my original thesis. If we give Charles Manson 4 tablespoons of COCONUT OIL a day, we could balance his energy, and make him a little less stupid and a little less crazy. But come on, wouldn’t you want the knowledge of a guy that can smuggle a cellular phone into a secure prison facility? I would.
Sincerely,
Don Juan’s Long Lost Brother,
The Doctah
Matt Music Monday (2 days late) – Tangerine Sky
Underrated song by a severely underrated group, The Kottonmouth Kings. Kings of the underground.
-Matt
PS- remix/acoustic version
I Have It! I Have the New Transformers Trailer!
Michael Bay, himself, delivered this to my house last night….Ok, maybe he didn’t but i like to believe he did. Leave me and my dreams alone!
-Matt
GIVE ME THE TRAILER!
I am patiently awaiting the teaser trailer for the new Transformers movie. Need me some Dinobots….NEED THEM.
-Matt
PS- Can we get some Beast Wars action for Transformers 5? Starring Leo. I will accept nobody less.
PSS- The trailer is being released tonight at 7:30 et. Thanks, Michael Bay!
Brett Favre Has Been Working Overtime on the Farm
Favre has been hitting the gym! I’m pretty confident he still thinks he is going to make an NFL comeback. Just seems like one of those guys who you can’t talk out of anything. Once he has something in his head he won’t stop.
-Matt
PS- I bet girls are begging for those DPs* now
*Dick Pics
