Category Archives: Average Blog Posts
Average Blog Posts
Blogs in this category (Average Blog Posts) have not been put into a category. This is where you can read a backlog of all Average Nobodies blogs.
Bloggers. Wrestling Enthusiasts. Beer drinkers. Movie Quoters. We have our cake and eat it too. Ryan Fogarty and Matt Vieira are The Average Nobodies.
Get That Paper Out of Richard Masten’s Face!
Source March. 18 (UPI) — A former Florida police chief could be spending two weeks behind bars after he ate a piece of evidence during a court appearance on Friday instead of letting a judge see it.
Richard Masten of Miami-Dade Crime Stoppers ate a piece of paper with a tip that had information about a cocaine possession case instead of handing it over to Judge Victoria Brennan.
Masten refused to reveal the tip because he wanted to protect his informant’s identity.
“We promise the people who give us information to solve murders, serious violent crimes in this community, that they can call with an assurance that they will remain anonymous and that nothing about them or their information would ever be compromised,” Masten said. “The case today started creeping into that… it’s not going to happen on my watch and I understood the consequences.”
Brennan found Masten in contempt of court for swallowing the tip.
“The court would be remiss to turn a blind eye to a flagrant refusal to honor a court order, and give more value to an individual’s opinion on what is right, rather than to the dictates of the laws enacted by the people of Florida,” Brennan wrote in her decision.
If Masten is sentenced to serve time when he heads back to court next week, he’s ready. “I’ll bring a toothbrush and some pajamas in case I do.”
If you think a couple pieces of a paper and a contempt of court charge are going to turn Richard Masten into a snitch then you got another thing coming. If I ever turn government informant I will only work for Richard Masten. He has everything you’d want in a friend: loyalty, wit (he ate paper in court!) and an insatiable appetite to uphold the law. As a side note, I’ve eaten paper before. The circumstances were not as drastic but I’ve done it. Feels good to get that off my chest.
P.S. FLORIDA!
“Let It Go” Sung in the Voices of 21 Disney Characters!
I’ve said it once, i’ll say it 1,000 times. People who can sing and people who do great impressions are the most talented among us. Now take this guy who can do BOTH. Bravo, sir, Bravo. I wish I could do even ONE impression. My “Jamaican” accent always seems to come out sounding like a truck driver from Alabama.
-Matt
Of Course There Is a Serial Urinator Terrorizing Women in Florida
(news4Jax)
Source – Have you seen this man? If so, you’re trapped in one of two places: a world created by Jim Henson or (much worse) Florida.
The Gainesville Police Department released the above composite drawing (or is it a Muppets Most Wanted promotional image?) of a man suspected of urinating on women near the University of Florida campus. Says News4Jax:
In late February and early March, four incidents were reported of a man who was approaching women from behind and urinating on them. Since the media coverage of those reports, at least three more victims have come forward to report the same crime, according to police.
One of the victims was able to give enough information to help police create a sketch of the urinator.
Police say the “urinating bandit” has been described as “between the ages of 25 and 30, about 6 feet tall with a medium to chunky build.” He was last seen wearing a hooded sweatshirt and jeans.
If I’m being honest right now I’m a little scared. Either the police sketch artist in Gainesville is 8 years old or there is a man who looks like that peeing on women in Florida. I’m also not sure which scenario is worse for the people of Gainesville. How are you going to catch this guy when THAT is the sketch you’re looking for? Oh and he’s in his late 20’s, 6 feet tall, average weight and wears a sweatshirt and jeans? That narrows it down to every guy in the world. For a state that see’s so much crazy shit, you’d think they’d have come up with a better nickname. The “urinating bandit” is too cliché. Also doesn’t a bandit imply he’s stealing something? Seems to me this guy just has poor decision making skills. Don’t make him out to be some type of monster. He’s just an ordinary Floridian going about his day, pee peeing on whatever he wants to.
– Ryan
A Song and Music Video Called “#SELFIE” Exists
I was having such a good life not knowing about this. But this song just had to come on the radio this morning. And now I just hate everything about this world. The fact that people like this are going to be famous or make any semblance of money off of this piece of shit song is infuriating to me. We couldn’t find another guy with long hair to play an acoustic version of a love song on his sitar and give him some airtime? At least he can play an instrument. This literally takes no talent at all and anyone who argues otherwise is wrong. When our civilization eventually collapses and a new species takes over, I really hope they’re still able to watch YouTube, because they need to see this. They need to see the downfall of the music industry, basic integrity and the human race. #SELFIE accomplishes all three. I don’t who or what the Chainsmokers are, but I hope they vanish into thin air. Thanks for ruining my life assholes.
– Ryan
P.S. The Hoff went down about 5 million pegs in my book. I’d rather see him hate eating a cheeseburger off the floor than watch him in this video.
Introducing Android Wear
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrqZl2QIz0c
The Verge just leaked this video of Google’s first stab at the smart watch arena. It looks glorious! Best part: no camera. Ain’t nobody got time to take pictures with their watch.
-Matt
PS- Here is Motorola’s smart watch design. The circle look it awesome.
Nicolas Cage Tiny Face is Haunting My Dreams
I stumbled across this on Twitter last night. Needless to say I haven’t slept and kind of wish my eyes would fall out of my head. I don’t know who thinks up these things but please stop. Nicolas Cage already has the appeal of a creepy clown. His Tiny face is too much.
– Ryan
Ain’t no Party Like a Jim Irsay Party
Irsay was arrested late Sunday night for driving while intoxicated and possession of a controlled substance. The 54-year-old owner could be disciplined by NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell under the league’s personal conduct policy. –NY Daily News
Jim, Jim, Jim…you party ANIMAL. Look at you go, just not giving a fuck about the law. I mean what do you have be responsible for? Just an NFL team? That’s no biggie. Keep being you and leave Andrew Luck to play the moral role model of your organization.
-Matt
PS- He claims to be clean and sober for 15 years.
Taken after the Super Bowl win in 06. Sober as a bird.
