Category Archives: Average Blog Posts
Average Blog Posts
Blogs in this category (Average Blog Posts) have not been put into a category. This is where you can read a backlog of all Average Nobodies blogs.
Bloggers. Wrestling Enthusiasts. Beer drinkers. Movie Quoters. We have our cake and eat it too. Ryan Fogarty and Matt Vieira are The Average Nobodies.
The Seahawks Signed Jared Allen……
Why Tampa? Why?! You make all these signs but not Allen? That’s right because we don’t need sacks. Who needs sacks? I sure as hell don’t need sacks.
Sellotape Selfies Are a Thing and I Don’t Know What Universe I Live in Anymore
Source – The latest Facebook craze is to take a selfie after wrapping your head in clear packing tape. To us, this looks dangerous. We advise against it. However:
Hey you guys! pic.twitter.com/T3lOBQXne6
— Sellotape selfies (@Sellotapeselfe) March 20, 2014
I’m done 😂😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/XxZIznWzLO
— Sellotape selfies (@Sellotapeselfe) March 20, 2014
#misspiggypic.twitter.com/7pXEv1p1hw
— Sellotape selfies (@Sellotapeselfe) March 20, 2014
The #SELFIE song is dumb and stupid but compared to Sellotape Selfies it’s the goddamn greatest thing since sliced bread. I really don’t even want to write about this but I think the world needs to know that people like this exist. These are human beings that actually complete tasks in our society. If for whatever reason you want more of this follow @Sellotapeselfie
– Ryan
The 76ers Are So Bad That it Actually Hurts
The 76ers are on the way to a historic losing streak after losing their 22nd STRAIGHT game against the Bulls (The 2010 Cavs hold the record at 26). Usually how the Sixers perform does’t bother me, they could win or lose and I wouldn’t care, BUT… today I was so shocked to look up at Sportscenter and see how bad they are that I actually stubbed my toe on the end of my kitchen counter. 76ers, hang it up now so no one else gets hurt, especially your fan base….SWEEET BURN.
-Matt
I’m Developing a Dangerous Obsession With Arnold’s New Movie “Sabotage”
When I first started seeing these trailers I really had no intention of seeing it. Then I saw it again. And again. And again. The new trailers they release are insane and now I’m worried I’m going to spend $100 seeing it 10 times in theaters. Apparently it was written by the guy who wrote Training Day and it’s directed by the guy who directed End of Watch. Those are two kick ass movies. Throw Arnold in the mix? I smell Oscars, plural. Oh and Arnold and Joe Manganiello are going to be on Monday Night Raw this week promoting it.
– Ryan
The Nobodies are on Facebook!
Let me stop you right there; I know what you’re thinking. “Come on guys! Get with the times!” Let me tell you, 99% of the time you would be 100% correct, but in this case you are dead wrong. See, we, The Average Nobodies, have tried many a venture on Facebook but never liked the outcome. A lot of our “likers” were friends and family, and while we love our friends and family, we often don’t get the honest interaction and feedback that we would with people like YOU! You, our fans and readers, have taken this blog to heights we never thought we would reach! You interact with us, you give us feedback, and a few of you even give us content! We would like to say thank you by adding another alley in which new fans can join our community. So when the Facebookers get here lets give them an old fashion Average Nobodies welcome! The more the merrier!
If you would like to follow us on Facebook as well as here click here or the above picture
-The Average Nobodies
and remember…
Help support our YouTube web series, Twitter News Weekly! Twitter News Weekly uses YOUR tweets to tell the news. A new episode is released only once a week, but we hope to change that. Every dollar you pledge helps us make better and more frequent content for you! Pledge your monthly donation (as low as 1 dollar per month) at http://www.patreon.com/AverageNobodies. Different donation levels will get you a specific reward from The Average Nobodies.
Try Not to Fall in Love With This Christopher Walken Dance Tribute
Thanks internet. Sometimes you’re the best.
– Ryan
Kudos to Huff Post Entertainment.
Hey Science: You Suck [The Doctah Is In]
– Scientists have designed a machine that they say can help women achieve orgasm at the push of a button.
The device, which is a little smaller than a pack of cigarettes, uses electrodes attached to the patient’s spine to trigger an orgasm via remote control. Doctors think it could help women who are unable to achieve orgasm by other means.
it is TRULY OVER.
That’s a sad face above if you didn’t see. Yes, a sad face. Why?.
They took it away. The power. Science is trying to take the power away. What power am I speaking of? In the words of Huey Lewis, I’m talking about the power of love. Science is essentially trying to reprogram love.
Love is intimacy, and passion. If females can zap themselves to orgasm quicker than the speed of light, what truly is left to life? That removes the intimacy part. Leaving just passion? I don’t know if life could thrive without passion. Is this the females way of getting back at us? They basically said “oh yeah, well if you can do it in a minute, we can do it in a second, ASSHOLE.” Well I’ll just say it, because well, I’m that much of an asshole.
Our true reason to exist would not be to chase and procreate, but only to solely procreate. This could cause massive porn addictions, inadvertent auto asphyxiation suicides, or reluctant sexual experiences with the same sex to release yourself. These actions may cause loneliness, death, or regret.
Just an aside, if your going to have a massive porn addiction, please visit SmilefortheCum.com, for all your pornographic viewing needs.
Carry on with your day.
– The Doctah
Monsterblog Wednesday: 5 Man Dream Team vs. Putin’s Pussies
Now that Vladimir Putin has made it clear he’s not messing around in Crimea, I think it’s time America’s best and brightest band together and show him that just because you can ride a horse without a shirt on does not mean you can tell us what to do. NOT UP IN HERE PUTIN! Here are our respective dream teams that we’d take into the field of battle against the ring stealing madman:
Matt’s Team – The Avengers Redux
My team is set up very similar to The Avengers. As the captain (America) of my team I serve as the level headed leader for a crew that can be described, at best, as “unstable”. Andre the Giant (Hulk) serves as team muscle and pretty much destroys anything in his path. As a man who has been known to slug back 30 beers in one casual sitting, i’d like to see Putin’s army stack up against him at the bar. Ain’t gonna happen. Next on my list of psychos is the terminator himself, Arnold “The Governor” Schwarzenegger (Thor). The man who has single-handedly kicked more ass than all of Russia combined will be my lead guy on the battlefield. There is no weapon he can’t fire, no vehicle he can’t drive, and no neck he can’t break. Now onto my cocky, yet effective, right-hand man: Bear Grylls (Iron Man). The modern day MacGyver, the man who can survive in any element, and under any conditions would be a perfect addition to this mod squad. If I need anything while out on the field of battle, Bear can get it done. But i’m not going to trust him with a gun, i’m smarter than that. Last, but certainly not least, Julius Cesar. While I can’t really equate this man to anyone in the Avengers, I can safely say that he will fit in nicely with this crew. Serving as the “Brain” to my “Pinky”, Julius will be my field general. He will out smart the Russian army, take control of their cities, and make them fight one another purely for the sport of it.
I can’t lose. Game. Set. Vieira.
Ryan’s Team – Hell’s Army
Team Captain: Vincent Kennedy McMahon. He’s been leading oddballs into battle since the 70s, and what Vinnie Mac wants, Vinnie Mac gets. His income is vast, and I’m pretty sure he’s the biggest supporter of America living today. Vinnie Mac oozes patriotism. I need his business savvy and overall insanity to lead this band of brothers.
Warriors: Teddy Roosevelt, Bruce Lee and myself. My abilities, especially in warfare, are pretty limited. That’s why I’m going to rely on my boys Teddy and Bruce to do the heavy work. Teddy Roosevelt was President of these here United States and I’m pretty sure he used to hunt animals with only a spear. Plus, MUSTACHE. Bruce Lee is probably the toughest/fastest human in history and I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s already actually killed someone. Old school brute force combined with new school lighting quick action. Good luck Putin.
Wildcard: Robert Ford. But wait, there’s more! Will Rob Ford be high on crack and die? Will he break his ankle or stumble backwards and get killed? Or will he be the saving grace of my dream team? That’s the beauty of Rob Ford: you never know what you’re going to get. But my bet is on he smokes crack and dies.
Simply stated, I love my team. Send us in a la Bruce and Ben in Armageddon, except this teime Putin is our asteroid. Prepare to be drilled (not in a sexual way).
PS
Help support our YouTube web series, Twitter News Weekly! Twitter News Weekly uses YOUR tweets to tell the news. A new episode is released only once a week, but we hope to change that. Every dollar you pledge helps us make better and more frequent content for you! Pledge your monthly donation (as low as 1 dollar per month) at http://www.patreon.com/AverageNobodies. Different donation levels will get you a specific reward from The Average Nobodies.
