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Average Blog Posts
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Bloggers. Wrestling Enthusiasts. Beer drinkers. Movie Quoters. We have our cake and eat it too. Ryan Fogarty and Matt Vieira are The Average Nobodies.
The Outtakes From Gary Busey’s Amazon Fire Commercial Are As Insane As You’d Expect
Gary Busey is one of kind. He’s clearly lost his mind but at this point in his life he’s no longer fighting it. He’s going to scream at the ocean and talk to a dead fish and have a conversation wth a lamp because that’s how Gary Busey rolls. I still don’t udnerstand why Amazon used him to promote their product but I blog from my parent’s basement and they run a multi billion dollar website so I guess we’ll just have to trust them.
– Ryan
I Am NOT On Board With the New Ronald McDonald Look
Source – Ronald McDonald’s not clowning around with his new look.
The fast-food mascot has swapped his mustard yellow jumpsuit for a stylish red blazer and ketchup-colored bow tie. He also rocks an updated red-and-white rugby shirt, slimmer yellow pants and a matching vest.
Ronald appears to have tamed his wild red hair, but his oversized shoes have stayed the same.
His theatrical new wardrobe was designed by Ann Hould-Ward, a Broadway costume designer who won a Tony for “Beauty and the Beast.”
In addition to his new duds, Ronald will also be getting a new responsibility. The clown will play an active role on social media and will tweet from the McDonald’s account using the hashtag #RonaldMcDonald, the company said Wednesday.
“Selfies …here I come! It’s a big world and now, wherever I go and whatever I do … I’m ready to show how fun can make great things happen,” Ronald said in a McDonald’s press release.
Ronald was first portrayed by TV weatherman Willard Scott. The character made his debut in 1963.
No no no no no no no no no no. I don’t like McDonald’s food. It’s absolutely my least favorite fast food joint but Ronald McDonald is an American institution. He’s a clown with huge hips who always freaked me out but for some reason convinced kids to eat cheeseburgers for all three meals. I don’t want to see a slim, sharply dressed Ronald McDonald who wants to take selfies. I want to see him for what he really is: an out of shape clown who pounds chicken nuggets like they’re going out of style. I refuse to accept this. Michelle Obama and her get kids skinny campaign has gone too far! You can force me to exercise but you will never make me like this Ronald McDonald imposter. Gattaca! Gattaca! Gattaca!
– Ryan
Jack Black Cast as R.L. Stine in Upcoming ‘Goosebumps’ Movie
Source – After years of development, the Goosebumps movie has finally graduated into the production stage. Shooting on the kid-friendly horror adaptation began this week, with Rob Letterman (Gulliver’s Travels) at the helm and Jack Black, Dylan Minnette, and Odeya Rush in the lead roles.
And as the project moves along, it’s dropped a brand-new synopsis full of juicy details about the plot. Hit the jump for all the latest info.
Sony announced the start of production via press release this week. Letterman is directing from a script by Darren Lemke and Mike White, which in turn is based on the popular children’s book series by R.L. Stine.
When the property was first optioned, we wondered how Sony would take advantage of Stine’s many storylines. It turns out they’re going the meta route, devising a tale about a writer named R.L. Stine who’s created a series called Goosebumps. Here’s the official Goosebumps synopsis:
In Goosebumps, upset about moving from a big city to a small town, teenager Zach Cooper (Dylan Minnette) finds a silver lining when he meets the beautiful girl, Hannah (Odeya Rush), living right next door. But every silver lining has a cloud, and Zach’s comes when he learns that Hannah has a mysterious dad who is revealed to be R. L. Stine (Jack Black), the author of the bestselling Goosebumps series. It turns out that there is a reason why Stine is so strange… he is a prisoner of his own imagination – the monsters that his books made famous are real, and Stine protects his readers by keeping them locked up in their books. When Zach unintentionally unleashes the monsters from their manuscripts and they begin to terrorize the town, it’s suddenly up to Stine, Zach, and Hannah to get all of them back in the books where they belong.
In addition, Amy Ryan, will play Zach’s skeptical mother, Jillian Bell his wacky aunt, and Ken Marino the local high school football coach. Super 8‘s Ryan Lee is also in the cast.
Goosebumps will open March 23, 2016.
Whoa. Last night I went from not even knowing a Goosebumps movie was in pre production to finding out about the plot and this MONSTER cast that will be headlined by Jack Black playing legendary horror master R.L. Stine. Why aren’t more people talking about this? I feel robbed that this is the first time I’m hearing of it. I loved Goosebumps as a kid, and this news solidifies the fact that I’ll be digging through boxes of my childhood stuff this weekend to find as many books as I can get my hands on. When you see it on paper, Jack Black seems like a great choice for R.L. Stine, but if you gave me a thousand guesses on who would play R.L. Stine in a Goosebumps movie I’d probably never land on Black for the role. He definitely has that naturally devlish charm, and even when he smiles you think he must be up to something. I’m curious to see how that transitions to what I have to believe is a very creepy role. The supporting cast of Amy Ryan, Ken Marino and everyone’s favorite female Workaholic Jillian Bell are three more reasons to be excited to relive the creepiest part of most of our childhoods.
-Ryan
TNW – Terry Richardson Sexted William Shakespeare and Pineda Rides the Pine
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Discovered My New Favorite Song – Paradise by the Dashboard Light
I’ll admit, i’m about 40 years late to this. I’m going to run this song into the ground, I can feel it.
-Matt
It’s Official, I Hate Drake
I know this is a few days old but I wanted to think long and hard before I used the H word on Drake. I like his music. He was funny on SNL. But outside of performing he just sucks. Where was Drake before this game that he needed to 1. bring a lint roller and 2. actually use it. Does he volunteer at a cat shelter in his spare time? Did he get into a fluffy pillow fight with one of the thousands of friends he has and the pillow got ripped and feathers floated all over his pants? The number one reason I hate Drake is because he disguises a trip to his hometown basketball team’s playoff game as being a true fan when in reality it’s all about him. If he was going to the game to root on the Raptors, he wouldnt sit front row and bring a lint roller. He wants everyone in the world to see his stupid face and to let you know he’s better than you with his gold chains and expensive shirts and lint rollers. Well I’m going to proudly walk around with my lint covered clothes in protest. That’ll show ’em.
– Ryan
If There is Such a Thing As a Perfect Sports Night, I Had It Last Night
The 8 seed Dallas Mavericks beat the 1 seed San Antonio Spurs to even the series 1-1 and break their own personal 10 game losing against the Spurs. The Red Sox beat the New York Yankees behind 8 innings and 11 strikeouts from John Lackey. Yankee pitcher Michael Pineda gets thrown out of the game for using pine tar. The only thing that could have made this night better was if the 49ers beat the Seahawks and then Pete Carroll got mugged after the game and lost one of his eyes. Since that’s not possible, last night will have to do.
I don’t want to make a big deal about winning game 2 of a first round series but all I’ve read about this series is how the Mavericks were going to get swept because they were too slow, too old, too bad defensively. We may win in 5, 6, 7 or lose in 5, 6 or 7, but beating the Spurs at home by 21 is HUGE for this team. Plus Casual Dirk showed up in the post game press conference.
Casual Dirk doesn’t need multi colored sweaters or a bow tie and suspenders. He’ll answer your questions to be polite, then he’s got some jumpers to swoosh.
Also, this:
This 21-point home embarrassment will turn out to be the best thing that could’ve happened to the San Antonio Spurs.
— Skip Bayless (@RealSkipBayless) April 24, 2014
Oh really? Losing game two at home by 21 is better than winning game two at home and taking a 2-0 series lead? Go to hell asshole.
When the Red Sox get their shit together, and it will happen, we’ll look back at this game as one of the turning points. The Sox needed Lackey to come up big tonight and that’s exactly what he did. The bullpen was spent. They even optioned Nava to Pawtucket so they could add Alex Wilson as an extra arm. What does Lackey do? 8 innings, 11 K’s, zero walks. It’s especially important after Lester sucked last night, because if Lester and Lackey can consistently pitch like top dogs we’ll be fine. Always a plus when you find out your arch rivals have the dumbest athlete of all time on their pitching staff. Perfect sports night complete.
– Ryan
