Category Archives: Average Blog Posts

Average Blog Posts

Blogs in this category (Average Blog Posts) have not been put into a category. This is where you can read a backlog of all Average Nobodies blogs.

Bloggers. Wrestling Enthusiasts. Beer drinkers. Movie Quoters. We have our cake and eat it too. Ryan Fogarty and Matt Vieira are The Average Nobodies.

Not Only Are The Bucs Adding Derrick Brooks to Their Ring of Honor, But They Are Renovating Their Concession Stands

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“If going into the Hall of Fame is going to be  Derrick Brooks crowning achievement, well this will be the icing on the cake! Because everyone’s favorite player will be going into the Tampa Bay Buccaneers ring of honor Sept. 14th when the Bucs host the St. Louis Rams.
 
Brooks will become the 3rd ever Buccaneer in the Hall of Fame following Warren Sapp and  Lee Roy Selmon. Brooks, Like Sapp, is also first round ballot election. A player owner or coach must wait 5 years from retirement to be considered.
 
Also, the Bucs have updated their mobil app, and are spending close to 7 million dollars renovating concession stands. Four new Beverage stands will be created called Swashbucker Bar, and will have the staples plus Craft Beers, Wine and frozen drinks as well. Tampa/Bucs themed restaurants will include Red Sail (Hot n Spicy), Pizza Plank, Taste of Tampa, The Galley, DeSoto Deli, Bay Burger and the Chicken Coup. – BucStop.com”

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“will have the staples plus Craft Beers, Wine and frozen drinks as well” Welp looks like my annual trip to Tampa is going to have a lot more frozen drinks in it than usual. With this already being an awesome stadium the cleaning up and updating of Buccaneer Cove (Where the food and pirate ship are) will make it that much more magical. Johnny Football will be pleased with his stadium (when we draft him tomorrow).

-Matt

Start Your Day With A View From The International Space Station

Live streaming video by Ustream

WWE’s Mr. T “Happy Mother’s Day Message” Was Mildly Offensive

So Mr. T went on and on about his mother during his Hall of Fame induction speech last month, so what does WWE do? They turn it into a Mother’s Day remix that will haunt my dreams forever. This seemed highly unnecessary, especially since Mother’s Day isn’t that big of a holiday. I can’t imagine someone who takes themself as seriously as Mr. T approved this video, which actually makes it a little better, but its still too awful for my tastes. How about a 5 second “Happy Mother’s Day from the WWE’ graphic next year, WWE. I think that’ll get the point across without subjecting anyone to this horrible video.

– Ryan

If Amar’e Stoudemire is Trying to Get Me To Like Him By Walking Around With a Fashionable Cane I Need Someone to Let Him Know It’s Working

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Now that is a nice cane. Elegant, fancy, I don’t even know what else to say. I’m officially jealous of Amar’e Stoudemire. A cane is such an underrated fashion accesory, and I really hope he didn’t just have knee surgery or something because that would ruin it. People who use a cane because they’re handicapped arent cool because they actually need it to be mobile; people who use a cane as a fashion accesory, on the other hand, are very, very cool. Maybe cool isn’t the word I’m looking for, but I love the cane statement. It’s the ultimate wildcard accesory. If I saw a person at a party with a cane and they weren’t handicapped I would want to get to know that person. They probably have some crazy stories about repelling down moutains or being an average professional basketball player. From here on out, I’m team Amar’e. Might even change my name to Rya’n.

– Ryan

photo via Buzzfeed

I’m Quitting my Gym to Fight Bears For Exercise Instead

Planet Fitness, I really enjoy your gym. It’s clean, well maintained, all the machines work, and I have ample space for my finer stretches. However, there is one thing that you lack in a BIG way, wild animal fighting. There is no space for me to fight with any wild animals and even worse there are no wild animals at your gym. With the way the fitness society is changing this is unacceptable. How am I suppose to work up a good sweat? On a treadmill? Pshhhh, like that will ever work. See the video below for my new workout regiment.

Protein powder? Diet pills? Steroids? Who needs ’em when you have a bear to spar with. I figure I will go out and find a adolescent bear and start there. Maybe move up to its parents as I gain experience. Not to mention I will have an awesome new pet; Talk about two birds with one stone. I can’t see this ever going wrong.

-Matt

Louie Returned Last Night, And He’s Still As Strangely Wonderful As I Remember

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After almost a 20 month hiatus, Louis C.K. is back on my TV screen. That’s a good thing. ‘Louie’, the comedy, drama, whatever it is you want to call it, returned for season four last night. Like most popular shows, ‘Louie’ is dissected by just about every major website that reviews television shows and pop culture. Grantland. HitFix. Time. Variety. Entertainment Weekly. Name a website and they’ll probably have a ‘Louie’ review up the afternoon before and after the episode airs. There’s a reason for this: ‘Louie’ is breaking ground for a comedy series the same way ‘The Sopranos’ broke ground for a drama back in 1999. There is no other show like ‘Louie’ anywhere on TV. A large reason for that is because there is no other character on TV like Louie, and no other creative mind like C.K. helming a show. C.K. writes, directs, edits, acts and does the music for his show. There may not be an “I” in team, but there is certainly one in ‘Louie’. If your one of those people judging C.K. solely on his stand up act, and you’ve never seen his show, your safe in assuming he is first and foremost a comedian, and you wouldn’t be wrong. He makes people laugh, both on stage and now on the small screen. His stand up act is a big part of his series, as most episodes open with him on stage, laying bare his demented soul so a room full of people so can earn a chuckle. But the show is so much more. It’s awkward, weird, hysterical, gut wrenching, almost all at the same time. C.K. is a master at zeroing in on a societal issue, no matter how small, and showing how stupid it is. During ‘Back’, the first of back to back episodes to begin Season 4 last night, there is a scene with Louie and fellow comedian Todd Barry in a coffee shop. The two of them are drinking coffee, and Louie is explaining how he’s not particulary excited about picking up his kids from school. The back and forth between the two comedians would have been a funny enough scene, but C.K. doesn’t stop there. While the two comedians are conversing, everyone else in the coffee shop is transfixed on their phones. No interpersonal communication, no communication at all. During the conversation, a kid is so preoccupied with his phone that he keeps bumping into Louie in his seat while he’s trying to walk past him. No eye contact, no conversation: it’s as if everything outside of that phone exists in an entirely different universe. This scene in particular is funny, because like most parts of ‘Louie’, they are based on reality. It’s not out of the ordinary to go anywhere nowadays where 99% of the people you see are on their phones. When watching that scene, I couldn’t help but go back to the season 2 episode “Country Drive”. During a drive out to the country to visit a relative, Louie’s daughter complains that she’s bored. Louie’s response, like most aspects of the show, is perfect:

I’m bored’ is a useless thing to say. I mean, you live in a great, big, vast world that you’ve seen none percent of. Even the inside of your own mind is endless; it goes on forever, inwardly, do you understand? The fact that you’re alive is amazing, so you don’t get to say ‘I’m bored.”

I can’t help but think that quote is a summation of the character of Louie and C.K. himself: a guy just making his way through the world, happy to be here but miserable at the humanity he see’s around him, so he relies on his imagination and comedy to keep him going. ‘Louie’ will only be here for six more weeks, as FX has decided to air two episodes every week for a total of episodes. Relish it while it’s here, because we may never see something like it again.

– Ryan

CNN Does Not Want You to Have Fun on Cinco De Mayo

Booo – “If you didn’t already know, Cinco de Mayo is a bigger deal in the United States than in Mexico. Here, this unofficial holiday is almost as popular as, oh, St. Patrick’s Day — which means it’s unfortunately become a drinking holiday. So much so that it’s been nicknamed, Cinco de Drinko and even Gringo de Mayo.

Eek.

Actually today commemorates Mexico’s victory against the French during the Battle of Puebla in 1862, and according to research by UCLA professor David Hayes-Bautista, it isn’t a Mexican holiday at all but rather an American one created by Latinos in California during the Civil War.

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In a perfect world, folks would use today as an opportunity to learn more about Mexican history and culture, but the sea of margarita and nacho specials might be too distracting for some. So, in the spirit of not completely raining on everyone’s parade, we’ve compiled a list of Cinco de Mayo faux pas to avoid so as not to offend others and/or embarrass yourself today.

1. ‘Happy Cinco de Mayo!’… said no Mexican ever

Today is not Mexico’s independence day (which is September 16) so you should refrain from treating it as such. You will rarely see a Mexican in the U.S. or in Mexico — outside of where the battle actually happened — acknowledge, let alone celebrate, the holiday. So simmer down.

2. Resist the urge to wear sombreros and fake mustaches because, well, stereotypes

While it may seem like all fun and games, these costumes essentially reduce cultural and traditional costumes to a caricature. Take it from the Penn State sorority sisters who learned the hard way after donning ponchos during one of their “Mexican-themed” parties. (Not to mention the offensive signs they made to accompany their costumes.)

3. Enjoy traditional Mexican libations, but don’t use Cinco de Mayo as an excuse to get brutally inebriated

There’s a thin line between enjoying a drink special with friends and running amok after taking 13 shots of tequila. Plus, blacking out drunk is sort of disrespectful given Cinco de Mayo is in remembrance of a battle, meaning lives were lost. In other words, keep it classy, folks.

4. Avoid using your high school level Spanish with native Spanish speakers today

Any attempts to awkwardly “connect” will likely come off as cheesy and empty. And, please don’t ask anyone to “speak Spanish” for your amusement because that’s just disrespectful. Plus, not all Latinos speak Spanish so you may be striking another nerve.

5. Don’t plan a trip to Mexico to celebrate a ‘real Cinco de Mayo

Outside of the state of Puebla in Mexico, the holiday isn’t really celebrated at all. Even the celebrations in Puebla are much more tempered and family oriented. If you’re genuinely interested in Mexico, head to San Diego, San Antonio or even Mexico City on September 16 and indulge in an authentic experience in all things Mexican.”

What?

CNN really making Americans look horrible with this post. They should’ve just titled it “Drunk American Assholes: Stop. Please Stop.” Well here’s a newsflash CNN: I don’t need a made up holiday to act like a drunken fool. Give me a bartender with a heavy hand and my debit card and I’ll show you how to get inebriated. “In a perfect world, folks would use today to learn more about Mexican history and culture.” Really? What world is it that you think you live in? Holidays like these are celebrated one way and one way only: we drink whatever it is we assocaite with that country. Cinco De Mayo is Corona and Tequila. Fourth of July is Budweiser. I don’t need a 5 point post about how I should or shouldn’t celebrate my Cinco De Mayo. Cue the music.

– Ryan

I’m Torn On Whether to Love or Hate Tom Brady After This Weekend’s Kentucky Derby

 

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Tom Brady experienced the ultimate high and pretty close to the ultimate low this weekend at the Derby. Flying into a gala in a hot air balloon is insane. Just an incredible move. Personally I think it’s cooler than taking your own jet. The jet game is overrated and expensive. The hot air balloon game is barely tapped into and nobody expects it. I love it. But then he’s got that haircut and those red pants. I know he’s married to a supermodel and she apparently dresses him and has him get fancy haircuts, but this is absurd. Absurd haircut. Ruined any momentum his hot air balloon stunt created. I want to like Tom Brady. He lives a great life. Seems like a cool dude. But I can’t respect a guy with that haircut. Or those pants. That’s asking too much of me.

– Ryan