Category Archives: Average Blog Posts
Average Blog Posts
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Bloggers. Wrestling Enthusiasts. Beer drinkers. Movie Quoters. We have our cake and eat it too. Ryan Fogarty and Matt Vieira are The Average Nobodies.
1 in 10 Americans Think Aliens Are Behind the Disapperance of Malaysian Flight 370
UFO – “One in ten Americans think ‘space aliens’ were involved in the disappearance if the Malaysian Airlines flight MH370, it was revealed today.
A survey found that nine per cent of the people believe ‘space aliens or beings from another dimension were involved’.
Investigators are still continuing their search for the missing plane and the 239 people on board, which vanished from radars on March 8.”
Well this is a good look for Americans: crazy alien conspiracy theorists. Although I gotta say, if there’s one case on the entire planet that could fit the alien theory, its Malaysian flight 370. With all the technology that exists in this world, how does a giant airplane just go missing for six weeks without any way to trace it? You’re telling me we have the technology that allows cats to talk to spiders but we can’t find a goddamn airplane that steered off course? When “aliens were invovled” is the scenario that makes the most sense, you know you fucked up. I’m not saying I believe aliens did it, but I’m also NOT saying that. Unless we find this plane, the alien theory is going to stand strong.
– Ryan
The New “Dawn of the Planet of the Apes” Trailer Has Got Me Swinging From Trees
Cesar has picked up some new words since the last movie. “Dawn of the Planet of the Apes” swings into theaters July 11, 2014
-Matt
Tommy Lasorda Has Officially Entered Crazy Old Man Territory
Psycho – “Baseball legend Tommy Lasorda is known for speaking his mind.
The Hall of Fame manager, 86, led the Los Angeles Dodgers from 1976 to 1996, coming to know Donald Sterling, the owner of basketball’s L.A. Clippers, in the process.
Sterling was banished from the NBA for life last week after audio recordings of his racially charged rants emerged. The audio features conversations between Sterling and his assistant V. Stiviano.
Lasorda was in West Palm Beach, Florida, Tuesday, picking up an honorary doctorate degree from Northwood University, where he spoke at the school’s commencement.
He also spoke with ABC affiliate WPBF-TV, discussing the Sterling situation – and his feelings about Stiviano.
“I’ve been a friend of that guy’s for 30 years,” Lasorda told WPBF. “It doesn’t surprise me that he said those things. That doesn’t surprise me. And he shouldn’t have said it, and he just hurt himself by talking too much and doing things that he shouldn’t be doing.
“And I don’t wish that girl any bad luck, but I hope she gets hit with a car.”
Well it’s official: Tommy Lasorda is a crazy old man. He’s always been crazy, but at 86 I think he’s finally reached that point where he just doesnt give a shit anymore. I do think someone should explain to him that hoping someone gets hit by a car is kind of the same thing as wishing someone bad luck. People with good luck don’t get hit by cars. I also 100% believe that Tommy Lasorda thinks he’s in the right in this situation because he prefaced his comment with “I don’t wish that girl any bad luck”. Once he said that, he felt that he was in the clear and could follow it up with anything he wanted. I do like the old school insult, though. You never hear anybody say that they hope someone gets hit by a car anymore. I hope Tommy Lasorda brings it back. A nice, solid insult that shows that you mean business. I don’t want to start pointing fingers, but if V. Stiviano gets hit by a car anytime soon, I have a good idea of where we should start looking.
– Ryan
NBC Will Be Broadcasting The Olympics Through 2032, Which Means One Thing: More Bob Costas Pink Eye
Bobby Boy – “NBC has secured the U.S. broadcast rights to the Olympics through 2032 in a record six-games deal worth $7.75 billion.
NBC already holds the rights through the 2020 Olympics in a four-games deal signed in 2011 for $4.38 billion.
The negotiations were led by International Olympic Committee President Thomas Bach.
Bach says “this agreement is excellent news for the entire Olympic Movement as it helps to ensure its financial security in the long term.”
I dislike Bob Costas. Immensely. If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Bob Costas, Osama Bin Laden and Hitler I’d shoot Bob Costa twice. But if I have to put up with him for six more Olympic games I can only hope he continues to get pink eye. How great would that be? Every Olympics Bob Costas welcomes us to the games then immediately gets pink eye. He struggles through the first couple of days until it spreads to his other eye and he’s forced to stop broadcasting like this year. Pink eye is curable so it’s not like he’d be contracting this deadly disease. Everybody wins, except Bob Costas. It’d be the best running joke in Olympics history and I, for one, would enjoy it a lot. I don’t know how, but I need NBC to make this happen. If you’ve got $7 Billion I’m sure you can find a way to give your Olympic broadcaster pink eye.
– Ryan
Charlize Theron’s SNL Promo’s Are Here & Man Is She Gorgeous
It’s an undeniable fact that Charlize Theron is gorgeous, but she kind of sneaks under the radar sometimes. Whenever these beautiful people lists come up she never seems to float to the top but she absolutely should. Short hair, long hair, no hair. She’s just got that face that makes you forget where the hell you are. As far as hosting SNL, this is her second time, with the first being way back in the year 2000. She’s a pro, so I can’t see her flopping, and with her there promoting A Million Ways To Die in the West, I’m hoping for a cameo or two from some of her co stars. Seth Macfarlane? NPH? Liam Neeson? Maybe even her new lover Sean Penn? Possiblities are endless. The Black Keys doing the singing is just a major bonus. I can’t wait for Saturday night.
– Ryan
Monster Blog Wednesday: Best Jimmy Fallon Skits
It’s no longer a contest: Jimmy Fallon owns the sketch portion of late night TV. I still prefer Conan in the monologue, but whether it was Late Night with Jimmy Fallon or The Tonight Show, Fallon consistently delivers funny and creative skits. Here are a few of our favorites.
The Evolution of Dad Dancing – Late Night
Kind of an under the radar skit back from Fallon’s Late Night days. I think I like this skit so much because this is 100% how I dance at the bar. I get a couple of drinks in me and I’m out on the dance floor makings things happen. I gotta say Jimmy Fallon absolutely nails all of these moves. I usually start off with the simple “clap when you want to” which immediately turns into the “clap and shake” which lasts the rest of the night. I know what you’re thinking and the answer is no, it is not very impressive, but it’s all I got.
– Ryan
Real People Fake Arms – Late Night
Real people, fake arms, is gold for two reasons: Jimmy Fallon and Steve Carell. I don’t think it is physically possible for Jimmy Fallon to keep a straight face during a skit, and you know what? I wouldn’t have it any other way. Carell, always professional, and Fallon always laughing. I bet by now you are probably screaming at the computer screen, “what about JUSTIN?!” Come on people, do I really need to point out how awesome JT can be in a comedy sketch? Does a dog need to be taught how to bury a bone? Does a bird need to be reminded how to fly? Does Bill Paxton need to prove he discovered the Titanic? No, the answer is no.
-Matt
Let’s Skip the Hype and Get Rebecca Grant a Sideline Reporter Job Now
Just give this girl a sideline reporter job now. We all know it’s going to happen. Happened with Erin Andrews. Happened with Katherine Webb. And it’s going to happen with Rebecca Grant. Positions herself perfectly at the Clippers game grabbing her ham hogs which I guess is the only criteria to get you an interview on Fox News now? Of course she yells off screen at her friend during the live interview. Why woulnd’t she? Gotta keep the hype going. Wouldn’t want a boring interview to ruin all the momemtum you got from grabbing your boobs at a basketball game. Let’s just have ESPN sign her to cover the NFL Draft tomorrow and negotiate a Dancing With The Stars clause into her contract so we can watch her until some other hot girl in the stands captures our attention. Although I gotta say, I would not mind staring at that face during a basketball or football game.
– Ryan
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WWE’s Tribute Video to Connor “The Crusher” Michalek Is Truly Incredible
What an amazing, amazing video. I use the word “amazing” a lot and it usually isn’t valid to describe something but this time it’s valid. This story had a sad ending, but WWE made Connor’s dreams come true and then some. A lot of times we get bogged down in the minor details of life, and this video really just shows you how fragile the whole journey itself is. A major kudos to WWE for not only creating this video, but doing what they did to keep Connor’s spirits high. The part with him in the ring pinning HHH while most of the roster roots him on from outside the ring is really something special. Then you have Daniel Bryan. Just a class act, through and through. Wrestlemania 30 was the biggest night in the professional life of Daniel Bryan, and for him to go out of his way and hug and talk to Connor is something that should never be forgotten. RIP to “The Crusher”.
– Ryan
