Category Archives: Average Blog Posts
Average Blog Posts
Blogs in this category (Average Blog Posts) have not been put into a category. This is where you can read a backlog of all Average Nobodies blogs.
Bloggers. Wrestling Enthusiasts. Beer drinkers. Movie Quoters. We have our cake and eat it too. Ryan Fogarty and Matt Vieira are The Average Nobodies.
Donald Sterling’s New ‘Horny’ Defense Story is the Worst Defense Story Ever
Dummy – The latest defense from Donald Sterling: I’m not a racist, I’m just horny.
The Los Angeles Clippers owners, barred from life from the NBA over his racist remarks about African-Americans, says his mind was warped by lust during his now-infamous taped conversation.
“You know, if you were trying to have sex with a girl, and you don’t think anybody’s there, you might say anything in the world,” Sterling explained in a two-minute recorded conversation obtained by RadarOnline.com.
“You might say you have the biggest penis in the world,” the 80-year-old billionaire real estate mogul continued. “I would have said I could fly over high-rise buildings if I had to.”
Sterling said he was jealous of the younger black men who accompanied his 31-year-old girlfriend V. Stiviano to Clippers games
“What the hell, I’m talking to a girl,” Sterling said. “The girl’s black. I like her. I’m jealous that she’s with other black guys. I want her … Can I, in private, tell her I don’t want her to be with anybody?
“Am I person? Do I have any freedom of speech?”
Sterling specifically objected to Stiviano’s Instagram posting of a photo with Magic Johnson — and he complained that the Hall of Famer should be more sympathetic to his situation.
“I wish Magic Johnson was talking to a girl, and he’s trying to play with her,” Sterling said. “You might say anything.
Sterling ended the conversation by clumsily invoking a black woman who’s apparently an employee.
“I have a girl here who has black kids, and is partly black, I think,” he said. “I love the girl. And so she’s telling me ‘You’re wrong.’
I have a serious question: is Donald Sterling mentally retarded? I’m not trying to make fun of him, I just want to know, because if he is I’ll stop writing posts about him. But if he isn’t, then he really needs to fire his publicist or hire a publicist because he has negative infinity common sense. So anytime Donald Sterling wants to have sex with a girl, he pulls the racist card. Just starts running down black people. Does that work? Personally if I want to have sex with a girl I break out the dance moves, then they run away, and I go home alone. Maybe I should start being a racist. I’m sure that really charms the pants off a girl. In a way I want this whole thing to just end but I also want to hear more reasoning from Donald. He’s pure racist gold.
– Ryan
Could The Patriots Give Off a More Galactic Empire/Evil Super Villain Vibe?
PFW Draft Analysis: Dominique Easley fits right with Patriots plans http://t.co/sNCS72QGeX#PatsDraft
— New England Patriots (@Patriots) May 9, 2014
Really? Come on now, Pats. There weren’t any other DEs on the board that would have fit your “plan” better than Easley? Don’t get me wrong, this guy could be a stud, but does nobody else think that he was a reach in the first round? He’s had two knee surgeries which should have been a red flag from the word go. Patriot nation has been conditioned not to ever question Lord Bill, but I don’t know here. Or maybe i’m wrong and every other war room in the NFL is collectively shitting their pants because the Pats know something they don’t. Being all like: “Oh fuck, who is EASLEY? How could we have missed him?! Someones getting fired!”.
-Matt
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A Homeless Man Told Browns Owner Jimmy Haslam to Draft Johnny Manziel So Of Course He Listened to Him
22th Pick – After an agonizing two-hour, 45-minute wait in the green room, Johnny Manziel is now a Cleveland Brown. And apparently he’s got a homeless guy to thank for his new gig.
Manziel’s fall through the ranks was one of the early stories of the draft, and once he was picked, ESPN cut to Sal Paolantonio in Cleveland with one heck of a strange story. According to Paolantonio, Browns owner Jimmy Haslam received guidance from an unlikely source.
“Here in Cleveland, everywhere I go, people know me,” Haslam told Paolantonio. “I was out to dinner recently. A homeless person was out on the street. He looked up at me and said, ‘Draft Manziel.'”
And that’s all it took, apparently, to convince Haslam that Browns fans wanted Manziel. Cleveland!
Suddenly the decision making skills of the Browns franchise over the years makes a lot more sense. I’m not saying homeless people aren’t great evaluators of talent, but I’d probably go a diffrent route if I owned a multi million dollar franchise. Maybe ex coaches or players? Or any of the scouts you pay to evaluate talent. The crazy part of this story is not the homeless guy telling Jimmy Haslam to draft Manziel. Johnny Football is the man, and I guarantee in a few years he’ll be a great quarterback. The crazy part of this story is that Haslam made it seem like a homeless guy convinced him to draft Manziel. Forget about the combine and the game footage; all Jim Haslam needs is the advice of a sage homeless man. All I can picture now is Jim Haslam scowering the streets of Cleveland on the eve of every draft night looking for that one man or woman who’s going to give him his picks. Only in Cleveland.
– Ryan
If I Took One Look at Robert Short I Could’ve Told You He’d Be a Terrible Bank Robber
Dope – “An Oregon police affidavit says a robber at the Home Federal Bank two weeks ago demanded money by giving the teller a note written on the back of a grocery receipt.
It was only part of the receipt, Bend Detective Jeff Frickey said in the affidavit, but it had the last four digits of a food stamp account and the account balance — enough to get investigators going.
State records provided a name to go with the account number, the Bend Bulletin reported, and an online search of the name turned up a pawn shop transaction with a telephone number.
A service provider then came up with the coordinates of the phone, the Stillwater Campground in Central Oregon.
That, the affidavit said, is where 54-year-old Robert Short was arrested on theft and robbery charges.
At an interview afterward, Frickey’s affidavit said, Short denied the charges, saying he never keeps receipts and would have thrown it in the trash, where anyone could have picked it up.
He also said that a hitchhiker must have stolen a black stocking cap that police kept as evidence after it was knocked off when the robber and a bank client struggled during the April 24 holdup, the affidavit said.
Police told Short his DNA was on the cap.
A plea hearing is scheduled May 27.
Short was held without bail at the Deschutes County Jail. It could not be determined immediately Wednesday whether he has a lawyer.”
This isn’t meant to sound braggy, but I could’ve told you Robert Short would be a terrible bank robber. He looks like someone who would be in a slideshow of dumb criminals. Situations like these always baffle me. Obviously the guy isn’t doing so good. He looks like shit, he’s on food stamps; not his finest hour. But would it kill him to find a blank peice of paper, or any peice of paper that doesn’t have his personal account information on it? Bank robbing 101: don’t leave any trace evidence behind, especially something like a grocery receipt with a food stamp account number on it that the police can trace back to you in 4 seconds. It looked like Short put up a good fight though. He strikes me as someone who wouldn’t keep his receipts, and although the hitchhiker story seems kind of farfetched, it could work. Then the police just drop the hammer on him. DNA was on the cap. I imagine this is when he just wished he was dead. Game over Robert. Next time don’t use your personal grocery receipt as a robbery note.
– Ryan
CNN You Better Grab Some Aloe, Because Bill Nye just BURNED YOU
“Lets get to the essence of the problem; The science, the researchers, say yes and you say NO”
Bill Nye putting the torch to CNN! Hurricane Shmurricane, Billy Nye don’t care about your Hurricanes. Facts are facts because of very important characteristic: THEY ARE FACTS.
Check out Bill’s “I can see right through you” face, S.E. Cupp just pissed her pants. Hey SARAH, yeah I read your Wiki page, if you mess with the bull you’re going to get the horns. Do you really want to argue with a scientist? The man who taught me everything I know? Look elsewhere for an easy win, you ain’t gonna get it here.
-Matt
PS- How dare S.E. Cupp say Bill Nye is bullying people. He could barely get a word in.
Below is the full video. Worth a look:
