Danica Patrick Will Drive A Wonder Woman Themed Car & I’ve Never Been So Conflicted

The most fierce woman on the NASCAR circuit will now be teamed with the most powerful heroine in the DC Universe as Danica Patrick will sport a Wonder Woman-themed car for two races prior to the release of the film. 

Code 3 Associates, a non-profit specializing in animal rescue and recovery in disaster areas, announced that it will sponsor three Cup Series races with Patrick in conjunction with the One Cure project as well as a fourth, standalone race.Comicbook.com
Wonder Woman Car

Photo: USA Today

First off, calling Danica Patrick ‘the most fierce woman on the NASCAR circuit’ is like calling me the fastest man on the planet. It’s just untrue. Danica Patrick stinks. Plain and simple. She’s a stinky NASCAR driver and an even stinkier person. She has zero NASCAR wins in her almost six year career, and is off to a sterling start this year with a whopping zero laps lead so far in 2017. I know we live in the age of participation medals, but Danica Patrick is downright bad at driving a car.

Professional racing aside, Danica is also a bad person. Her lawyers sued The Average Nobodies back in 2013 because we posted pictures of her Go Daddy Super Bowl commercial, and in doing so made enemies for life. There’s obviously not much I can do to affect her professional life unless they start awarding negative points for being such a shitty driver, but that doesn’t mean I can’t hate her personally too. That brings to me to the decision of having her drive the Wonder Woman car. I can’t think of a worse pick than Danica Patrick, a woman who embodies consistent and utter failure. I love the Wonder Woman character and Gal Gadot, and to throw a cherry on top an animal rescue non profit is sponsoring the races.

Damn you Danica Patrick, for making me root against Gal Gadot and animal rescue organizations. You’ll haunt me forever.

-Ryan

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About ryanfoges

I want to experience as much as I can while I’m here. Come along for the ride @rfogarty7.

Posted on May 1, 2017, in Average Blog Posts and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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