Saying I was excited to see this movie is like saying Kel had a slight affection for orange soda. I was hyped to the max. I got my IMAX tickets early, got to the theater with enough time to procure some snacks, sat my ass down in the oversized theater seat and slipped on the always stylish 3D glasses for some good ol’ fashion SciFi fun.

Here’s how I thought it was [Spoilers ahead]:

Let’s get something out of the way before I dig down deep into the meat of this film. The Force Awakens is viagra for your eyes. One of the biggest fears I had when this movie first came to light was whether or not the movie was going to have the original trilogy vibe. After seeing it, I can safely scratch JJ off my hit list (for now). The Force Awakens was the perfect mix of practical effects, stunts and prop sequences that made for an immersive experience. Just like the original movies did. I’m not a big hater on the prequels (Iv’e always said it was an awkward stage for hollywood cgi), but they are no original trilogy. So there, I said it. This movie is one hot piece of ass.

Before I start hooting and hollering about all this “it was the same story as  Episode IV” bullshit, i’ll speak about the characters, new and old. Besides Luke being literally a no show until the final moments, the old cast was perfection. Could have done without Han being turned into a Solo Kabob, but if definitely flowed well with the direction of the film. The new cast was just masterful. Speaking of, have you met my new girlfriend (she’s not aware), Daisy Ridley?
HOW on Bill Paxton’s green earth has she not been in more things? Seriously, look at this sweet, beautiful, talented angel. She should be in all the movies. ALL THE MOVIES. I digress…Daisy took the character of Rey and melted my mind right out my eyes. I think what actually happened to me was called crying. She did a beautiful job bringing this homeless, family-less, unsuspecting jedi to life. Oscar Isaac played one of my favorite characters in the movie and he was only on screen for a fraction of the flick (still longer than Mark Hamil)! You wanted to root for John Boyega and against, so much against, Adam Driver as Kylo Ren. For those of you who said Driver’s actual face without the mask wasn’t “villainous” enough, have you see that gorgeous head of hair?? DIABOLICAL.

Now for what’s been the most contoversial part of The Force Awakens, the plot. Some say (and I get where they are coming from) it’s just a remake of Episode IV. I see the argument, I really do, but that opinion is just lazy and unoriginal. Do you really hate this amazing cinematic achievement because it’s derived from something else equally as wonderful? Really? Is this how people are going to spend their time? The new cast breathes life into this franchise. Everything has changed, but it feels the same, and that is the most important part. Love this movie, love it to pieces.

The official Matt Starz rating is a 9.9, the highest Matt Starz rating ever given*.

*It probably is, I did’t feel like looking back at my other ratings.