Average New Year Resolutions – 2016 Edition
Last year we debuted our new year resolutions blog and right now, in 2016, we are back with the second installment. Without further adieu, here is our update from last year’s resolutions and our new ones for 2016.
2015 Resolution: Do more cartwheels
2016 Resolution: Watch more movies starring Nick Cage
2015 was the year of the cartwheel. I did cartwheels wherever I could (including someplaces I shouldn’t have) and whenever I wanted (most of the time I was a wee bit [blackout] drunk). I feel good about my cartwheeling shenanigans from 2015 so much that I am ready to move on to an even more important resolution, watch more Nick Cage.
Why, you ask? It’s simple. Say you’re in the mood to watch a movie, but you’re not sure which genre you’re feeling. We’ve all been there, a Netflix library full of flicks and nothing to watch. Ah, but there’s a solution. That solution is Nick Cage’s IMDB page. There you can find the movie that you so crave. Feeling the need for speed? Check out Gone in Sixty Seconds. Is a RomCom more your speed? Check out The Family Man. Feeling up for an adventure? The National Treasure movies or The Rock is sure to calm that twitch in your neck.
2015 Resolution: Drink more pickle juice
2016 Resolution: Hold more babies
“Every different nation, Spanish, Hatian, Indian, Jamaican, Black, White, Cuban, and Asian.” Yes, those are the lyrics to ‘Miami’ by Will Smith and yes, that is my New Years Resolution. I don’t care what color or race a baby is, I want to hold it in 2016. I recently became an uncle, and the pure joy that babies bring to every environment is unrivaled. Unless you’re sitting next to a random crying one on a plane, babies kind of rule. They exhibit all the signs of adult drunkenness but don’t deal with any of the consequences. Stand up and immediately fall down? Cute baby. Throw shit around the house? Cute baby. Poop your pants. Cute. Baby. They’re living the dream, and I want a little bit of that sunshine in my life as much as possible this year. I believe my mentor Michael Scott put it best:
P.S. I wanted the Michael Scott clip where he talks about a baby being President but the internet is a cruel woman sometimes.