CHEESE – A Scottish student left baffled after she kept piling on the pounds was stunned to discover she is actually a sleep eater. Kate Archibald couldn’t understand why her weight suddenly skyrocketed and she went up three dress sizes, reports the Daily Record.

But when she woke one morning to find her bed covered in food wrappers, the University of Aberdeen undergrad realized she’d been gorging on calorific snacks while she slept. She’s now been diagnosed with the medical condition known as “nocturnal eating disorder.” The 20-year-old believes it stems from her time at boarding school, when she took Adderall for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).

“We had our tuck box at the bottom of our beds, and I would wake up when the medication wore off and feel ravenous, so I’d eat as much as I could,” she told The Tab. “But when I got older, I stopped needing the medication as often, and because I didn’t have any food in my uni room, I didn’t think that I was waking up hungry any more,” she said. But once her condition was diagnosed, she said they now tended to see the funny side — and even sometimes left out treats for her to steal — such as a wheel of cheese that she went on to devour.

This sounds terrible. The only reason I don’t mind getting fatter is because most foods are delicious. I’m not saying everyone should get obese and die but that saying “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels” is a load of shit. Everything tastes better than skinny feels. I’d rather have my jeans be a little too tight after a delicious bacon cheeseburger than be a few jean sizes lighter after eating a celery sandwich. Unfortunately for Kate, she has the worst of both worlds. She’s gaining weight WHILE SHE SLEEPS, which means she eating like an animal but isn’t savoring or tasting any of the food she’s eating. That’s just some black magic horribleness. Imagine getting fatter and fatter and not knowing why, then finding out it’s because you eat everything while you sleep and you can’t stop. That’s horrifying. It’s also a great excuse for people who want to eat all their roommates food. All you have to do is show your roommates this article and blame it on the sleep eating. Works every time.

– Ryan