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“You Refuse to Update Your Relationship Status on Facebook”: A Breakup in 2014

At least the guy numbered his grievances. That’s about the only good thing I have to say about this breakup text. Also, it’s probably a good thing this girl got out of this relationship because there’s a solid chance this guy was planning to wear her as a skin coat. Guys with cats are already kind of a red flag (no offense Matt), and the rest of the reasons he lists here are borderline insane. The Facebook thing has to happen more often than we hear about. I  can only imagine this eating away at people as they stalk their significant other’s profiles. Constantly being teased by their friends who tell them “if it’s not Facebook official you’re not a real couple”. It’s clear that this guy finally broke down and he couldn’t take it anymore. Unless these two are 16 years old, the last two reasons are null and void. People swear, deal with it, and if you think you’re going to find a girl or guy over the age of 25 who has had less than 3 sexual partners you are literally looking for a unicorn: I’m pretty sure they exist, I’ve just never seen one. I know there are more crazy breakup texts out there, and if I’m being honest, now that I’ve had a taste of them, I need more. Fire up the internet! It’s breakup text research time.

– Ryan

H/T UPROXX

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About ryanfoges

I want to experience as much as I can while I'm here. Come along for the ride @rfogarty7.

Posted on November 19, 2014, in Average Blog Posts and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Yeah well Batman and I are going to beat you up. See how you like DEM apples.

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