Got no sleep. Hope I can keep my finger but grateful it wasn’t something worse @ModelLeila my nurse taking good care pic.twitter.com/TR78fmru8d

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) October 29, 2014

Say what you want about Jose Canseco, but he never disappoints. One day he’s a major league baseball player who lets a fly ball bounce off the top of his head and go over the fence for a home run, and another day he’s cleaning his gun and shoots off his own finger. When you look up unintentional comedy in the dictionary (I’m relying on it to be in the dictionary in order for this to make sense) there should be an enormous picture of Jose Canseco during his see through fishnet shirt stage. I’m also assuming Canseco was making a dick joke on Twitter. Had to be, right? He was grateful it wasn’t something worse? The only worse than shooting off your finger is shooting off your dick. With Jose’s track record, I’d put the over/under on 2025 before he shoots off his dick.

– Ryan