WWE Night of Champions is this Sunday. You can watch it on the WWE Network for 999 pennies. Here are our predictions:

Divas Title Match: Paige (C) vs. Nikki Bella vs. AJ Lee

You really expect me to root against AJ? Nikki could win because of the Total Divas tie in, but this AJ/Paige feud really needs to start progressing. They’re both super talented, and a title change would give Paige an added edge instead of skipping around mimicking AJ every Monday night. Hopefully Brie costs Nikki the match allowing AJ to tap out Paige and I will just keep watching this GIF forever and ever.

United States Championship Match: Sheamus (C) vs. Cesaro

Of all the matches on this card, this is the one that needs a “double switch”. Cesaro is a natural baby face, and Sheamus is a natural bad guy. Cesaro can go blow for blow with the big guys, and match the athleticism of the smaller guys. Plus that giant swing is awesome and it won’t come back until he’s done being a heel. Sheamus might have been pushed too hard too quickly, but he was 1 million times better as a heel. I don’t think a loss hurts either guy here, but the basis for a switch in both characters in necessary. I see Sheamus winning cheaply.

Intercontinental Championship Match: Dolph Ziggler (C) vs. Miz

Besides Cesaro, Ziggler is probably my favorite guy on the main roster right now. But after reading With Spandex’s predictions for this Sunday, I have to go with The Miz. How amazing would it be to have Miz show up on Raw Monday night with the IC title and Damien Mizdow with a toy title? That picture in my head gives me so much joy, that I’m actually rooting Miz to win now.  The Era of Awesomeness begins (again).

Tag Team Championship Match: The Uso’s (C) vs. Gold & Stardust

There are a lot of title matches on this card. It’s almost like it’s the…Night of Champions. Sorry about that. I’m personally growing tired of the Uso’s. Every match they have starts and ends the same way, and while they’re incredibly gifted athletes, it’s time for a heel tag team to own the belts. While I wanted it to be Harper and Rowan, I’ll settle for the bizarre brothers. They’ve finally gained some momentum now that they’ve turned to the dark side, and I’m excited to see what they can do as champions.

Randy Orton vs. Chris Jericho

Give me back the Legend Killer. That is the only Randy Orton I am interested in. Slow, methodical, go over the same point two thousand times Randy Orton does nothing for the WWE. But Legend Killer Randy Orton? Legend Killer Randy Orton is motivated, focused and can have a great match with just about anyone. Maybe even tweak the character a little bit and have him go after the younger guys trying to take his spot. Just a sadistic, maniacal, gifted wrestler. Have him get rid of Jericho (since he’s leaving anyway) and then slowly stalk the new blood coming trying to come in and main event. That’s the Randy Orton I’m interested in watching.

Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins

It’s weird that they already had this match on Raw, especially since they ended it with Roman scoring a clean win. The general consensus on the internet is that Dean Ambrose will return and maim Seth Rollins. I can see that happening. What would the point of Roman beating Seth clean again be? And there’s no way Seth is beating Roman clean. I say have Ambrose attack Rollins during his entrance while Reigns continually cocks his fist in the ring un fazed by his surroundings.

WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match: Brock Lesnar (C) vs. John Cena

Brock SHOULD beat Cena decisively again. It doesn’t have to be a massacre like at Summerslam, but he absolutely needs to win clean. A cheap win keeps Cena in the title picture and gives us months worth of promo’s about how Brock had to cheat to win even though he already KILLED HIM AT SUMMERSLAM. I never thought I’d say this, but I don’t see any scenario in which Cena wins this match. Lesnar should be built to be unstoppable until you have someone who can stop him. And that “someone” should not be the guy he just murdered a month ago.

We’ll be live tweeting from @averagenobodies for the duration of the pay per view, so jump on Twitter and enjoy the show!

– The Average Nobodies