Advertisements

Amazon Customer Reviews: ‘How To Avoid Big Ships’ By John W. Trimmer

I’m pretty excited for this one. Let’s get to the reviews.

‘How To Avoid Big Ships’

image

WHY NO KINDLE EDITION??????

Given that there is a huge ship bearing down on me RIGHT NOW I am extremely disappointed that I cannot get inst

 

Caution: Check the title before purchase

I live near a park and frequently walk around the local area. Given the amount of dog mess that is on the pavements I thought this book would be the ideal read to stop me having to scrape my shoes on the grass before going home. It was only after it arrived that I looked closely at the title and realised it said ‘How to Avoid Huge SHIPS’. A simple error that means I am still treading on massive examples of canine excrement. Having said that, I read the book anyway, and I’m pleased to say I’m not even having near misses with huge ships anymore. No sir, they aint getting anywhere near me!

 

Excellent book! No more accidents for me!

As an Iceberg i can say that this book was a great help to me and my spiraling depression. Being larger than a huge ship has given me problems such as running into them without knowing it and sometimes sending them into panic even if i don’t. John W. Trimmer has truly brought me past my self defeating depression in giving me the confidence knowing that i will never repeat the same mistake I made April 14 1912. Thanks Captain!

 

Now my ship can FINALLY come in

All my life, people told me that “one day my ship would finally come in”. Naturally, I was terrified. What if my ship was huge?

To avoid this outcome – I sabotaged myself; dropping out of school at age 8, and replacing the milk on my daily cereal with a homemade mixture of moonshine and wallpaper paste.

Since reading this book – I finally got over my fears and decided to become successful. This week alone I have started my own talk show, written a classical opera, taught myself to read and write (both English and Hindu), and invented the iFire – a fireplace you can control like a touchscreen by simply ramming your fist into the naked flames.

Pre-orders are already worth $4 billion. Thank you John W. Trimmer!!

 

Invaluable until you know it only applies to ships

I’m now getting tired of constantly running into huge space shuttles. Huge ships used to be a massive problem. After reading this, not one ship have I encountered. Well, that’s a lie. I’ve run into a few tiny ships, but the book on avoiding those isn’t out til 2023. So, not an issue. However, the huge space shuttles are proving to be a constant annoyance. I’ve had to devise my own methods in avoiding them. I’ve even tried applying this book by changing the word ‘ships’ with ‘space shuttles’ but, obviously this is futile.

 

Any tips or suggestions for amazon products you want featured? Send them to @averagenobodies.

– Ryan

Advertisements

About ryanfoges

I want to experience as much as I can while I'm here. Come along for the ride @rfogarty7.

Posted on July 8, 2014, in Average Blog Posts and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: