Monster Blog Wednesay: The 3 People You’d Pick to Stay on Earth During The Rapture
We’re in full Leftovers mode after Sunday’s premiere, so naturally this week’s monster blog has to do with The Rapture. While that might not be what’s happening on the show, for the sake of this monster blog, we’ll say it is. Naturally family and friends are excluded here, because if you don’t pick your family and friends to stay behind during The Rapture maybe you should stop reading this and lay down for awhile. Actors, actresses, musicians, athletes, celebrity chefs!? Here are our picks:
- George Clooney
I’d probably pick Clooney over certain friends and family members, but that’s neither here nor there. I need Clooney on this Earth. If he goes, I go. If The Rapture is going to ravage this planet, I’m going to need my best friend by my side. Together (along with my two other picks), we’ll take over the world, and Clooney will eventually take claim his rightful throne as King of the World.
2. Giada De Laurentiis
A man’s gotta eat during The Rapture, and while I can confidently say Giada and Clooney are going to shack up, at least my best friend will be happy and I’ll have some good eats. I don’t really know much about Giada beyond that’s she smoking hot and she hosts a cooking show so she probably has some decent culinary skills. Two for two in my book.
I can’t survive without music, and maybe while Giada is busy with Clooney, me and Rihanna could get to know each other. Or she goes with Clooney too, which seems like the more likely scenario. Either way, I’d like to keep Rihanna around. There’s definitely something primal about her that makes me want her by my side during some kind of world catastrophe. She doesn’t fuck around. Always has her business/sex face on, which I think will really come in handy down the line. Party in the front, party in the back.
1. Bear Grylls
People start disappearing who you gonna call? Bear fucking Grylls, that’s who. During rapture time i’m sure the world will be in chasm, that’s why me and my group of three will be taking to the forest. Bear Grylls will come in handy there.
2. Louie CK
What’s the point of surviving rapture if you can’t laugh about it? Louie would provide some much needed comedy relief as well as someone to talk to about tv show and film production. Hey, maybe we start our own post-apcalypse tv show. We could call it Louie….& Matt. I see this going somewhere.
3. Kate Beckinsale
Do I really need to explain this one? Just insert nasty thoughts.