Welcome to Florida, Where Bears Are More Logical Than Humans
Bears – After knocking over trash cans and scaring the residents of a Daytona Beach neighborhood Thursday, this black bear needed a rest. Photographer Rafael Torres said he followed the bear as it climbed into a hammock on Glenbriar Circle and got comfortable. Torres said he was about 60 feet away when he took the photos, and the bear didn’t seem bothered by his presence. It stayed in the hammock for 20 minutes before heading back into the woods around 8:15 p.m. “He got in the hammock like he was a tourist or something,” said Vincent James, who owns the home and the hammock. “Then something spooked him and he ran right back there. Then half an hour later I come back and I saw there he is in the hammock again.” The bear has been spotted multiple times in the Pebble Creek neighborhood in Daytona Beach since Wednesday. Residents say he was looking for food, tearing through a bird feeder and then trash cans.
This is weird. A species in Florida that isn’t stabbing a family member over mac and cheese or inventing words or urinating all over women. Bartholomew the Bear is actually just acting like a bear, and a pretty cool bear at that. In his defense, knocking over trash cans looking for food sounds pretty tiring. I bent down to tie my shoes the other day and needed to sit the next couple minutes of my day out, so I feel his pain. And if you see an open hammock you lay in it. One of the first rules of life. I don’t care if you’re a bear, a turtle or a human or some kind of future hybrid animal. Always lay in the hammock. Welcome to Florida, where bears lay in hammocks and humans dump buckets of urine on each other’s heads.