I’m Quitting my Gym to Fight Bears For Exercise Instead

Planet Fitness, I really enjoy your gym. It’s clean, well maintained, all the machines work, and I have ample space for my finer stretches. However, there is one thing that you lack in a BIG way, wild animal fighting. There is no space for me to fight with any wild animals and even worse there are no wild animals at your gym. With the way the fitness society is changing this is unacceptable. How am I suppose to work up a good sweat? On a treadmill? Pshhhh, like that will ever work. See the video below for my new workout regiment.

Protein powder? Diet pills? Steroids? Who needs ’em when you have a bear to spar with. I figure I will go out and find a adolescent bear and start there. Maybe move up to its parents as I gain experience. Not to mention I will have an awesome new pet; Talk about two birds with one stone. I can’t see this ever going wrong.

-Matt

About MattFromRI

Bucs fan. Podcast producer. Social media manager. Movie goer. Gamer. Filmmaker. Reader of comics. King under the Mountain.

Posted on May 6, 2014, in Average Blog Posts and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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