We watched both Kill Bill movies this weekend, which should be the only explanation you need for this Monster Blog. If you haven’t seen either of the Kill Bill movies, then maybe you should re examine your life goals and watch them because they’re amazing. If we ever happened to switch professions from moderately handsome bloggers to cold blooded assassins, these would be the names and styles to look out for.

Papa Shango

My assassin code name can be deceiving, because as Papa Shango a lot of people will be expecting me to use witchcraft to get the upper hand on my victims. Just to make this clear, I will not be using witchcraft. Instead, I will use my appearance as a mildly out of shape, normal guy to sneak up on my victims and end them. If you were to see me walking down the street the last thing you’d think was that I’m a secret assassin coming to ruin your life, which is the exact thought process I want you to have. What I lack in fighting skills and overall intelligence I make up for with an unlimited amount of piano wire. My trademark black sunglasses hide my lifeless eyes, and my jacket with many, many pockets hide my piano wire. So next time you see an average nobody walking down the street, maybe you should give them a second look, because it could be me, with a lot of piano wire , fulfilling my next assignment.

– Ryan

Short Circuit

As Short Circuit I am know as the greatest technological assassin on the planet. I can strike form anywhere with ease by using the world against you. Tapping into security systems allows me to always have the upper hand and while i’m not the fastest assassin this gives me all the speed I need. Maybe I blow up your cell phone, or maybe I take control of your car and drive it off a bridge, no matter how I do it one thing is for sure, you will have no idea when or how Short Circuit will strike.

-Matt