On May 5th I Slip Into a Diabetic Coma
Mountain Dew, you are not doing your loyal fans any favors by releasing this sans Taco Bell. Easily one of the greatest liquids to ever touch my lips, Baja Blast is only kept under control by the fact that Taco Bell limits its consumption. However, on May 5th Mountain Dew releasees this tasty carbonated treat to the public*. Do you know what this will be like? It will be like blowing up the hoover dam. This is how the world ends, Mountain Dew releases a new bottled soda. God help the USA if they have 2 liter bottles.
*People who don’t eat Taco Bell**
**Satan and Chalres Manson
On May 5th I will be on my comfy couch, enjoying a bottle of Baja Blast, and watching the new season of “Louie”. Game, set, match.