I think it’s safe to say Dirk is the most beloved German in the history of Texas, and god damnit he deserves it. But I’ll save my Dirk speech for this Friday night when I’m 10 beers deep. Conan is doing this week’s shows live from Dallas, Texas, so naturally Dallas’s big sports star administered the “official” Dallas Citizenship Test to Conan. I like how Dirk especially got a kick out of the Tony Romo answer. If Romo came on he’d get booed out of the building and fumble his cue cards and accidentally break his neck trying to pick them up. Not the Great Nowitzski. All time pro. And now we know Dirk is destined to be a famous TV star after his playing days are over. Poise and wit like you read about it.

– Ryan