Of Course There Is a Serial Urinator Terrorizing Women in Florida
Source – Have you seen this man? If so, you’re trapped in one of two places: a world created by Jim Henson or (much worse) Florida.
The Gainesville Police Department released the above composite drawing (or is it a Muppets Most Wanted promotional image?) of a man suspected of urinating on women near the University of Florida campus. Says News4Jax:
In late February and early March, four incidents were reported of a man who was approaching women from behind and urinating on them. Since the media coverage of those reports, at least three more victims have come forward to report the same crime, according to police.
One of the victims was able to give enough information to help police create a sketch of the urinator.
Police say the “urinating bandit” has been described as “between the ages of 25 and 30, about 6 feet tall with a medium to chunky build.” He was last seen wearing a hooded sweatshirt and jeans.
If I’m being honest right now I’m a little scared. Either the police sketch artist in Gainesville is 8 years old or there is a man who looks like that peeing on women in Florida. I’m also not sure which scenario is worse for the people of Gainesville. How are you going to catch this guy when THAT is the sketch you’re looking for? Oh and he’s in his late 20’s, 6 feet tall, average weight and wears a sweatshirt and jeans? That narrows it down to every guy in the world. For a state that see’s so much crazy shit, you’d think they’d have come up with a better nickname. The “urinating bandit” is too cliché. Also doesn’t a bandit imply he’s stealing something? Seems to me this guy just has poor decision making skills. Don’t make him out to be some type of monster. He’s just an ordinary Floridian going about his day, pee peeing on whatever he wants to.