The ‘Beast Mode’ Sausage Sandwich is Almost as Stupid as Pete Carroll’s Stupid Face
Seahawks suck – It’s time to grub up for the Super Bowl, and with the Seattle Seahawks facing off against the Denver Broncos, there is a unique cuisine to sample from these Western cities.
You could start your day on a Seattle kick, with a warm coffee from your local Starbucks. Then, for lunch, transition across the Rocky Mountains to Denver and get your lunch fix at a Quiznos or a Chipotle. As you settle down before the start of the game, put some craft beers into the ice chest so they can chill in time for kickoff.
But if you’re looking for a meal that screams “Go Seahawks,” look no farther than the Beast Mode Sausage.
Named after the Seahawks bruising running back, Marshawn Lynch, who has been given the Beast Mode moniker for his style of running, this sausage mirrors Lynch’s football personality. A butcher in Puyallup, Wash. has combined sweet and spicy meat with Skittles, the candy of choice for Lynch.
That’s right – sausage with Skittles on the inside.
So while the 12th man may have to travel across the country to cheer their team on live in Metlife Stadium, at least they will have something to snack on as they prepare for the championship game.
The Seahawks couldn’t just beat my 49ers and be done with it. Now they have to make a travesty out of my favorite sandwich. What’s next? Are they going to cancel my favorite TV shows? Beat up my grandma? There are only three things that should go on a sausage sandwich: peppers, onions and mustard. Not skittles. Never skittles. You’re insulting sausage lovers everywhere, which I now realize sounds a little weird. But the seahawks are basically rebelling against America. And if anyone is looking to point a finger of blame, point it at this world class asshole..
I hate you Pete Carroll. I hope your burn with Satan in the depths of hell.