We’ve done a lot of hypothetical monster blogs, but this one might take the cake. If there is a demographic out there that would ever root for the Average Nobodies to become porn stars then I will have lost complete faith in humanity. There’s just certain things human eyes aren’t meant to see. That still didn’t stop us from coming us with stage names if we ever made the big time.

Franklin Railer

Classy first name, porn innuendo last name. My porn star alter ego would be the best of both worlds, and to be honest, in porn, I don’t even know what that means. What I do know is that I didn’t get that last name by selling bus tickets on the street corner. The Railway is open for business.

 Billy “Stubbs” Manwhich

Maybe the nickname was given to me because of my short fingers, or maybe it wasn’t. Either way, this jet blacked haired newcomer is here to change the porn game forever. The first director, actor, editor, and composer the porn game has ever seen. Girls want me and guys want me…..want to BE me. My directing style? GoPros on GoPros on GoPros on GoPros. You can mount GoPros just about anywhere.

-Matt