This week’s Monster Blog focuses on forms of communication pre-dating electricity. Essentially, if you could go back in time what would be your preferred method of communication? How would you tell your bros to meet you down at the waterhole or to get ready for a hunt? Here is how The Average Nobodies would do it.
Giraffe
First off, I know what you’re thinking. “Matt, where the hell are you going to find a giraffe”. Let me just say…I know a guy. Sending message by giraffe is a triple threat of communication skills. 1. Height. Need to send a message to someone on the third floor? Done. 2. Speed. Not quite as fast as a cheetah, but with giant strides of its giant legs my message will be half way across town in 5 steps flat. And 3. Riding ability/style. If I ever need a ride anywhere i’d be traveling around in style. Might even mount it by sliding down its neck. Fred Flinstone style.
-Matt
Message in a Bottle

I hate birds, so that immediately disqualifies pigeons or hawks or ravens. The next best thing is naturally a message in a bottle. You ever see that Kevin Costner movie? That would be if I grew up before electricity. Just collecting bottles and letting the tides do the rest. Luckily I’m a patient man, so I have no problem waiting for that special someone to get my message of love. In the meantime, I develop a longevity potion that quadruples my life expectancy. In the year 2014, Clooney finally gets my message start in a modern adaptation of Romeo and Juliet. End scene.
– Ryan
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Mesopotamia – Inventing Our World (Texting), was an exhibit at the ROM (Royal Ontario Museum). That recently came to an end on January 5th, 2014. But there are tons of videos and podcasts of this ancient world and all about the original scribes who wrote all of us into the future…
View here:
http://www.rom.on.ca/en/mesopotamia/home
Video of ancient cuneiform “texting” ;):
That is really interesting! Thanks!
Oh and LOL! “I hate birds…”. That was so Alfred Hitchcock and Tippi Hedren with his film, “The Birds”. You’re not one of these dudes that dislikes clowns too, are ya? Oh nevermind, just saw the ICP post 😉 hehe.
haha birds are actually one of the only things I dislike. I saw the Hitchcock movie in high school and seriously contemplated dropping out of school so I’d never have to see something so frightening again.
Don’t you think that is a bit drastic?
Why don’t you shut your mouth! When the birds take over I know who I’m saving last
Jokes on you, again! I already have a truce with the bird leaders. I will be riding giant birds into the birdpocalypse.