A man who was allegedly high on meth reportedly fought off more than a dozen police officers while publicly masturbating. Andrew Frey, 37, apparently made a series of outbursts and then began masturbating in an Oregon restaurant, The Oregonian reports. Incredibly, police were reportedly unable to subdue Frey with a Taser. It took 15 officers to finally take him into custody and stop him pleasuring himself. Frey later reportedly told authorities that he took methamphetamine and couldn’t remember the obscene incident, according to the Marion County Sheriff’s office. Frey was treated at a local hospital and then booked into county jail on charges of public indecency, theft of services, and resisting arrest. -Huff Post

Just when I thought there would be no more big stories in 2013, Andrew Frey goes ahead and blows my mind with this superhuman performance at a public restaurant. What grabs me here isn’t that he was high on meth or that he beat up 15 consecutive cops, no, what got me what that he did all this while slapping his ham. That is some impressive shit right there.

-Matt