Michael Sutton, 36, was arrested last week after some high school students found him near their school, eating rocks and babbling on about meth, the Des Moines Register reported. – Huff Post

Oh! Eating rocks? Demented move, Michael. Can’t say that i’m surprised though, because once you hit rock bottom what else is there to eat? My question is, what was he eating the rocks with? Was he just plucking rocks off the ground and shoving them in his gullet, or was he dipping them in ketchup or barbecue sauce first? These are the questions that need to be answered.

Also, when someone says “eating rocks” I have to imagine that they are just swallowing them whole. I really doubt any chewing was happening. Rocks are tough as nails. There is no way a meth head could chew through rocks. I’m not even sure my genetically enhanced cow jaw could do that (True story, but for another time).

-Matt