(Source) “After a long, hard day what sounds better than a nice relaxing massage … from three 6-foot-long pythons?

In Indonesia, that’s exactly what one massage parlor is offering for the low price of only $43, according to Yahoo News. The 90-minute treatment involves allowing the three snakes to slither on a person’s body, which is probably the least-relaxing way to relax that I can possibly think of.

The snakes mouths are taped shut during the massage, and there are staff members present to prod them on and make sure they don’t strangle clients and slurp them down for lunch.

The parlor also offers other unusual services: a massage from a guy in a gorilla suit and a bath in a tub of beer, the latter of which must be a popular way to unwind after all the other traumatizing experiences people have at this place.”

Why. Why is this a real thing? Who would pay $43 to have three snakes slither all over you while some sick freak watches. I really don’t understand some people. So you’re gonna pass up a massage from a human who has hands in favor of a wild snake. I can’t imagine too many massuesse’s are also trained snake handlers. You want some tips on who might be the next serial killer? Follow whoever is getting a snake massage around. People who do this are probably into a lot weirder shit than snake massages. Maybe something along the lines of getting a massage by someone wearing a gorilla suit. Or sitting in a bath full of beer. Sick, sick puppies.

– Ryan

P.S. That beer bath does not sound fun. I like beer in my belly, not all over my body mixed with my own filth.