Kim and Kanye are officially engaged. While the whole world has their own opinion on the engagement, the Nobodies are preparing for a wedding invitation that will never, ever come. That’s not going to stop us from brainstorming up the perfect wedding gift for the dynamic duo.

The Gift of Being Famous For No Reason

Since Hollywood won’t give her one, I figured I’d pull some strings* and get Kim her own star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. After all the sex tapes, and reality shows, and 10 day marriages, Kim will finally have the star that’s been eluding her all these years. Nobody deservers it less than you. Congrats!

*Matt spray painted her name on a star.

-Ryan

The Gift of Steady Video

I am giving the newlyweds a high quality tripod. Since Kim has been known to “star” in her own “films” and Kanye “the creative genius” West will not stand for any shaky hand-cam videos, I thought that this gift would be perfect. If these two are going to be making them, might as well do it right.

Too bad Ray J didn’t have one of these back when he was taking Kim to pound town. Hey, at least he can sleep at night knowing he hit it first*.

*what a dumb fucking song

-MattyV