Edward Smith Has a Fever, and the Only Prescription is Having Sex with Cars
(Source) “Edward Smith’s love life has been in overdrive for the last 48 years.
By his count, he’s had more than 1,000 sex partners — but only one of those was actually human.
Smith, 63, is a “mechaphile,” the term for someone sexually attracted to planes, trains and automobiles.
Oh, and helicopters too. He once had a quickie with a copter used in the TV series “Airwolf.”
“Some guys look at boobs and bums on beautiful women. I look at the front and rear on beautiful cars,” he said, according to the Mirror.
But Smith is no longer driven to have sex with just any car. He says his joyriding days are over and that he is committed to “Vanilla,” a Volkswagen Beetle he purchased 30 years ago.
“When I hold Vanilla in my arms there’s a powerful energy that comes from her in response to that,” he said in an interview with Barcroft TV. “If anything was to happen to her I would be more than heartbroken.”
“Mechaphilia” is a unique fetish, but Smith claims he’s not alone in his intense love of machinery. He estimates there are at least 500 guys in the world also keyed into sex with cars, according to Time.com.
“When I turned 13 and the famous Corvette Stingray came about, that car was pure sex and just an incredible machine. I wanted it,” he told the Telegraph. “I didn’t fully understand it myself except that I know I’m not hurting anyone and I do not intend to.”
So Edward Smith not only exists, but he’s free to roam the Earth, having sex with every car he lays his eyes on. There’s disturbing news then there’s this. I really don’t understand why this guy isn’t in a mental institution, because if there’s one guy who’s potentially a danger to society it’s the guy who fucks cars. I guess this technically isn’t a crime but can’t we just build a bubble around this guy with a bunch of cars so he can just go to town? I’d say we could helicopter food in but apparently he has sex with those too. Maybe shoot food down a long tube so he doesn’t starve. Pretty much do anything but interview this guy who “hasn’t hurt anyone and doesn’t intend to”. If that doesn’t keep you up at night then I don’t know what will.
P.S. Are we supposed to be okay with this because he’s finally settled down and is only going to have sex with one car now? That actually makes me more nervous.