How Far Would You Go To Delay Your Own Wedding? This Guy Cut Off His Balls

A couple’s wedding was delayed after a man allegedly cut off his testicles before storming into a church just an hour before the ceremony was to take place.

The Brentwood, U.K. man was taken to a hospital Saturday shortly after his self-mutilation, according to As a vicar and florist put finishing touches to the church, the unnamed man stormed in, throwing chairs around as he soaked the floor in his blood.

A wedding guest who arrived early told the Brentwood Weekly News that the vicar would not let him enter the church because a man had cut off his testicles with a pair of scissors.

“When I went in the church, I saw something on the floor which I could only describe as flesh, which I thought was part of his arm but that was one of his testicles,” the wedding guest said.

After being taken to a hospital, police referred the man to a mental health assessment, according to the Brentwood Gazette.

Despite Essex Police wishing to close the church to further investigate the incident, the wedding went along a half hour later. The bride was not informed what caused the delay until after the wedding. – Huff Post

Well played, sir, very well played. Clearly this guy was in over his head and his only option was to remove his testicles…with a pair of scissors. I want to applaud this man because he made the tough call in a tough situation, and that takes….well….balls (hypothetically speaking of course). Who hasn’t been in this situation? The classic “I can’t think of a solid excuse to not do something, so I will chop off a piece of my own body” move. Classic. Usually you can just claim diarrhea and everything is settled, but not this guy, not on his wedding day. He makes sure his excuse can’t be fixed with a little Pepto.


About MattFromRI

Bucs fan. Podcast producer. Social media manager. Movie goer. Gamer. Filmmaker. Reader of comics. King under the Mountain.

Posted on September 19, 2013, in Average Blog Posts and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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