BuzzFeed Has the Personality of a Wet Mop

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I’m not really sure how Louis Peltzman (and the rest of BuzzFeed for that matter) sleeps at night. No way this guy can tell a lie so horrendous and not lay awake at night because of his disgustingly dirty conscience. Here are some snippets from the full list of 27.

michelle pfeiffer

FALSE.

Maxwell Caulfield

NO.

bowling song

Yeah, no.

any questions

Yeah, Buzzfeed, I got some fucking questions. For one, are you high? Did your mother drop you on your head when you were a child? Do you like to watch the world burn? and lastly, would you like me to come over there and open a can of whoop-ass? Lets take this trash and turn the clocks back 4 years. Let’s revisit the original.

Olivia-Newton-John-Grease

Let’s be honest, Michelle Pfeiffer couldn’t polish Olivia Newton-John’s shoes. Top to bottom Olivia is way hotter, has the voice of a sweet angel, and packs a smile that could melt solid steel.

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If you’re looking for a leading man, look no further than John “Matt’s Man Crush” Travolta. This guy has hair that brings women (and men) to their knees, a chin dimple to end all chin dimples. and dance moves that could peel paint off the walls.

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Songs about bowling are for pussies. Songs about car racing, fighting people, and banging broads are for MEN.

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BuzzFeed, do you have any questions?

:: Drops Microphone ::

-MattyV

Link to the full BuzzFeed article

Grease 2, here is your ONLY redeeming quality. Shooter McGavin plays Goose Mackenzie.

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About MattFromRI

Bucs fan. Podcast producer. Social media manager. Movie goer. Gamer. Filmmaker. Reader of comics. King under the Mountain.

Posted on August 27, 2013, in Average Blog Posts and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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