I came to a startling realization this weekend: I despise yard sales. Everywhere I drove on Saturday and Sunday, I saw tables set up on front lawns filled with lamps and toasters and a bunch of other useless crap. All I could think about while driving by these yard sales is how crazy the people doing this are. When I was younger, my parent’s would have yard sales, but I was a kid and I was forced against my will to be apart of it. Now that I’m a fully functional adult, I can’t think of something worse than spending a beautiful Saturday afternoon sitting on my front lawn waiting for strangers to come onto my property and buy shit I don’t want anymore. How has eBay and Craigslist not destroyed the yard sale game? What kind of a person actually wants to interact with strangers who haggle you down from $3 to $2.25 for an old watch that can’t even tell time? Psychopaths. Only psychopath’s would want to do that. Next time someone brings up the idea of a yard sale, tell them to put their shit on eBay, grab a case of beer and enjoy your summer Saturdays like a real American.

– Ryan

P.S. Don’t forget to follow us on twitter @averagenobodies. Unless you like yard sales. Your kind isn’t welcome.