Life Lessons From Yoko Ono
It’s Friday. Let’s get yoked
“@yokoono: In winter the snow protected us, covering our pain. Now I hear ice cracking slowly in my brain.”
– Yoko should probably get this checked out. I’m no doctor, but hearing ice cracking slowly in your brain seems like one of the final stages of psychosis. I hate to disagree with the wise one, but being covered in snow seems like it would do more harm than good. After awhile our organs would shut down and then we would pass away. You have over 4 million followers, Yoko. Get your shit together
“@yokoono: Walk until your body feels like dancing. Then dance. You will find that you no more have difficulty in sleeping at night.”
– All these foolish doctors wasting millions of dollars on insomnia research. All these insomniacs polluting their bodies with pills to help them sleep at night. Should’ve listened to Yoko. Can’t sleep? Step 1: walk until you feel like dancing. Step 2: dance. I guarantee you’ll get the best sleep of your life. But remember, this is a two step process. You can’t just walk until you feel like dancing and stop. You won’t sleep. You may be asking yourself: “self, what if I just start dancing without walking first?” Sorry charlie, get ready for a restless night.
Another week in the books, two more lessons learned from Yoko Ono. Her knowledge is just like the sky: endless.
P.S. With advice like this, she should change her name to Yoko OhNo! right? Right? I need a drink.