I’m Never Traveling to Florida Again

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“Looks like this guy wasn’t using his noodle. Randy Zipperer, 49, is accused of stabbing his younger brother following an argument about missing macaroni and cheese. A witness told deputies in Volusia County, Fla. that Randy and his brother, 47-year-old Edward Zipperer, started arguing over Randy’s missing macaroni and cheese, the Daytona Beach News-Journal reported. His younger brother helped him look, but during the mac-hunt, Edward knocked over a beer Randy had been drinking. The spill allegedly made Randy even angrier, and deputies say he began waving around a knife that wound up inserted in his brother’s stomach. When deputies arrived, Edward had a small puncture wound in his abdomen. Investigators noted a trail of blood between the kitchen and bedroom, according to Click Orlando. Randy allegedly admitted that “I poked him a little with the knife, but I didn’t mean to.” He has been charged with aggravated battery and obstructing an officer without violence.” – HuffPost

What the hell is in the water in Florida? Yesterday we had the chip thief/rapist murderer Jacky Rogers, and today we have Randy Zipperer, the Mac N’ Cheese stabber. To be honest, I’m not surprised that someone who looks like Randy stabbed someone over missing Mac N’ Cheese. He’s got no teeth, a rapist smile and that far off look that I’m assuming murderers get right before they finish their victim. If you showed me Randy’s picture without telling me the news story, I’d probably guess he stabbed someone on my second or third try. That’s what people who look like that do. In Randy’s defense, it seemed like he was going to let the missing Mac N’ Cheese slide. He may have been starving to death, but at least he had his beer. Then Edward had to go and take that away from Randy too. If someone were to lose my Mac N’ Cheese, then spill my beer, I’d turn into a knife wiedling maniac too. The most shocking part of this story is that Randy is 49. He’s got to be the oldest looking 49 year old in the world.

– Ryan

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About ryanfoges

I want to experience as much as I can while I’m here. Come along for the ride @rfogarty7.

Posted on June 14, 2013, in Average Blog Posts and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. ugh. it’s always the people from Florida. it’s hard telling people I live there.

  2. Used to live in Tallahassee. Way too many nutjobs there. And they were relatively tame compared to Orlando, Tampa, Miami and Gainesville. Moved to the midwest in 2004, and I will never EVER go back there again.

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