Burger King has finally come up with a solution to that most vexing question that has plagued mankind for decades: “In a world of multitasking, how can you use your hands to do daily activities and eat a Whopper at the same time?”

Enter the hands-free Whopper holder, a plastic device that hangs from the neck and places your Whopper inches from your mouth. All extraneous movement has been removed from the burger-eating process, including the act of bending your arms to bring the sandwich closer to your mouth.

With both hands released from the restrictive and calorie-wasting act of food eating, Whopper lovers are free to perform all of their favorite or pressing tasks while enjoying the flame-broiled goodness of Burger King’s signature sandwich. -USA Today

Just when I thought I was going to have an extra arm sewed onto my neck, Burger King reads my mind!  Who has time to eat FAST FOOD normally? I sure as hell don’t.  With changing radio stations, texting and driving, not wearing my seatbelt, and all the other tomfoolery that occurs in my car I just can’t seem to find a open time, or hand, to enjoy my Whopper.  In comes the ‘Hands-free Whopper holder’, basically a plastic feedbag that makes you looks like the fat pig-horse-man you really are.  If I start seeing these popping up I will move to the north pole.

-MattyV

P.S. Create a hands-free taco device and I might sing another tune.