Let’s Not Screw This Up Rhode Island

All the fellas here at Average Nobodies currently reside in little ol Rhode Island. Yes it’s a state. No it’s not part of New York. There’s been all types chatter in the ocean state about how Taylor Swift bought a new pad in a hoity toity area of Westerly. It seems like everyone and their brother has spotted her at a Marshall’s or Dunkin or a Kinkos for Christ sakes. Some maniac even swam the narrow river to sneak onto her property. And while I’m jealous I didn’t think of it first, we need to pump the breaks so we don’t screw this up.

We have a legit A list celebrity living here now, we can’t be breaking our necks trying to find her. You gotta play it cool. This could lead to Clooney coming here; we gotta do the right thing and give her some space. Because if Clooney comes and Foges finds out, God help us all.

So Rhode Island, all I ask is we give Ms. Swift some space and this place will be crawling with the likes of Selena Gomez and Kate Upton in no time. Also, I have an insane obsession with Taylor Swift. Couldn’t tell you a thing about her music, but if I ran into her I think I got a shot. Whatever that means.

+Berno

P.S. there’s little to no chance I don’t find her

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About bernooo

I am a 22 year old American living in China for six months, learning amongst architects and designers in the fast paced city of Shanghai.

Posted on May 31, 2013, in Average Blog Posts and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Not to mention Bill Paxton might move in. Then that coward, Robert Ballard, has no where to hide!!!!!!

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