Crazy Ants are taking over the South and I’m moving to Canada
Click on that link and be prepared to stare into the face of Satan in ant form. I don’t claim to know much about insects, but in the human world, you have to do some sick shit to get the nickname “crazy”. Crazy Ryan isn’t the guy who goes streaking at a party, he’s the guy with the weird smell coming from his basement. So what did these seemingly normal ants do to earn this nickname? Apparently they’re not only killing all the fire ants in the region, but they’re also starving out the ants they don’t destroy. That is some diabolical shit. I don’t know who pissed these crazy ants off, but I think its time we call a truce. If you think the crazy ants are going to stop at killing fire ants, I have a Joe Montaina rookie card I can sell you.
They’ve gotten a taste of world domination, and guess what? They like it. It starts off with insects, then they take out lions and finally, the crown jewel: humans. Those are the cold, hard facts. With all due respect to ageless lobsters, crazy ants are coming for that ass.
P.S. You know who tweeted this story and is scared shitless of these crazy ants? R.L. Stine. If a guy who writes children horror stories for a living is afraid of crazy ants then you should be too. Oh and you should be following that psychopath @RL_Stine