Now when I first read this article I wanted to rag on Don and Rosanna. Call them out for being fitness freaks while I stuff a roast beef sandwich down my throat. But I can’t do it. Maybe I’m getting soft, maybe I’m feeling good because my Red Sox are in 1st place, maybe go fuck yourself. All I know is Don Akim and Rosanna Beckett are my new favorite people. I’m not saying I believe certain people possess superhuman abilities, but I absolutely do. The only drawback to this couple is the picture they used for the article, because now I can’t get the thought of them having sex out of my head. Bodyslamming each other all over the bedroom, flexing muscles in places I didn’t even know exisited. A truly horrifying scene. Besides the sex thing, this couple really does have it all. 3 World Fitness Championships? Check. 14 meals a day? Check. Bench-press your child? Motherfuckin’ check. Such a power title too. The World’s Strongest Couple. If I ever get married that’s going on my Christmas card:

Merry Christmas you frumpy pieces of shit.

Love, The World’s Strongest Couple.

P.S. I kind of feel bad for their kid though. Forget hopscotch in the park and duck, duck, goose. Your doing power squats and jumping jacks until you burn off that piece of pizza you had for lunch.

P.P.S. Is Don Akim Tiki Barber’s doppleganger? Has to be.

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