Sierra Mist, The Gateway Soda
In the battle of soft drinks, one stands above the rest. Atop this heap of “100%” juices, iced teas, sports drinks, and mango fusion fee-fee drinks a titan rises. The drink I speak of is….actually, lets start this story somewhere else.
I’m out on the town, wearing my finest bow tie and slacks (I like to picture myself walking the streets of France wearing this, even though all I wear is basketball shorts and tee shirts) and I come across a local watering hole, maybe it’s Texas Road House, maybe it’s not (It is). I am seated at my table, and who, but Kate Upton, comes to take my drink order (This is my story, and what I say, goes)! After we swap numbers and spit she asks what I would like to drink. At the time, I am in the mood for a clear soda, in which, Sprite, is the only way to go. I order my Sprite, and Katie responds with the mind numbing, “is Sierra Mist ok?”. Alas! they only serve Pepsi products. This puts a damper on my thirst quest. No person in their right mind orders Sierra Mist, it’s the poor man’s Sprite, and when it comes to soft drinks I am no poor man. But then it hits me! Pepsi products you say? In that case, I will have a MOUNTAIN DEW. Mountain Dew, the clear number one choice in soft drinks. The Bonnie to my Clyde, the bacon to my eggs, and the soda for whom I beg. Now, while I sit here and enjoy my Dew, I think of the one thing that made this all possible, Sierra Mist. Thank you Sierra Mist, thank you for being so terrible.
P.S. The one exception to the rule is beer, if beer is on the menu that is what you drink.
Random quote of the day > “Fuck a mixtape!” -T.I.