BP – He continues to smite bad guys as a hammer-wielding Norse god in The Avengers, will fight off a terrorist hacker in Michael Mann’s upcoming cyber thriller, Blackhat, and battle a whale in Ron Howard’s In the Heart of the Sea, but there was no contest when it came to naming Aussie Chris Hemsworth this year’s Sexiest Man Alive.  

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Usually I’d pining for Clooney in this spot, but he’s already won it like 15 times so I understand giving somebody else a chance. What I don’t understand is the arrogance of this article and picking Chris Hemsworth. There was no contest? I happen to know a certain 59 year old man from Forth Worth, Texas who disagrees. Fact: Bill Paxton discovered the Titanic. Fact: Bill Paxton saved Helen Hunt from a goddamn twister. Fact: Bill Paxton went to the moon. Fact: Bill Paxton saved Mighty Joe Young. That’s pretty sexy to me. What has Chris Hemsworth done? Yes he was Thor and Captain Kirk’s dad (which still technically makes him Captain Kirk, I think), but in the grand scheme of things, we’re not talking about the land of make believe. I can pretend to be a superhero and some nerd on a fake spaceship. Bill Paxton actually did all of those things. They’re not movies to Bill Paxton, they are REAL LIFE. If that’s not the definition of sexy, then I don’t know what is.

– Ryan