Author Archives: MattFromRI

Obama Brought Luther, His Anger Translator, to the White House Correspondent’s Dinner

This is my favorite part of a President’s term in the White House. The part of his tenure when shit doesn’t matter anymore. It’s like those last few days of lent when you eat meat on a Friday and you’re like “eh….close enough”. Obama is loosening up and going for broke, basically turning the corespondents dinner into an episode of “Live from the White House it’s Saturday Night Live”. Do you thing Obama, your basically out of office already.


San Jose PD Used A Robot To Deliver A Pizza To Talk A Man Out Of Killing Himself

Pizza—in all of its deeply-beloved, circular, iconic, cheesy, perfect-in-every-way glory—is the key to (almost) anyone’s heart. We love it, we eat it all the time, we worship its creation, we can’t say no to it. And apparently, that principle applies even when you’re quite literally teetering on the precipice of imminent suicide.

Police are only human. They have their fair share of problems, certainly, but they also share the same needs and desires as the rest of us. Which is why last week, when a man in San Jose, CA was threatening to throw himself from an overpass onto the freeway in a suicidal exhibition, the cops busted out the best idea they could think of: sending a robot to bring the man some pizza.


I think an awarding of the Nobel Peace Prize is in order. What progressive thinkers we have over at the San Jose Police Department! We need to take this story and learn from it, build from it, evolve from it. Is Barrack overseas doing peace negotiations with North Korea? Bring a pizza and have Kim Jong Un swooning. Dealing with inner-city gangs? Send a few pies their way and I guarantee they will trade their knives and gats for cheese and peps. As a society we need to realize that the healing powers of the magic circle of dough and sauce is a real thing. So that you all know that I am truly committed to the pizza movement, I will only be eating Papa Johns for the rest of my life.


Trailer Alert – New “Jurassic World” Trailer

Jurassic World did a good job disguising the villain dino in its trailers and teasers, and they continue to do so (more or less) in this one. With this newest trailer you get more of the plot, more dinos and some Chris Pratt funny business. Saying i’m excited to see this movie is a vast understatement. Chris Pratt, if one scale on those Raptors  is hurt I will not be happy.


Trailer Alert – New ‘Fantastic Four’ Trailer

With this new trailer we finally get a glimpse at some of the super powers and the super villain, Dr. Doom. I’m assuming Doom was the 5th person on that mission that “didn’t survive”. This movie already looks awesome and I can’t wait to see it, but I have one reservation. I’m not sure I buy Miles Teller as Reed Richards. Reed is supposed to be this super intelligent doctor who crack inter-dimensional travel and I just don’t see it because of the limited roles he has played prior. I’m sure my mind will change once I see it. I Just hoping he is the leader the Fantastic Four needs.


Music Monday – Tyler, The Creator [Cherry Bomb]

Tyler’s got a new album out, and if you Like Tyler’s stuff then it’s for you.


A Meme Is Born – Matthew McConaughey Reacts To The New Star Wars Trailer

I don’t think this will be nearly as popular as the Randy Orton RKO video memes or the Jim Ross commentator memes, but I can’t wait to see what people do with it.


Trailer Alert – “ROAR”

When this came across my desk (my iPhone) this morning I wasn’t sure what to think of it. These people living on their own in the middle of nowhere is  crazy enough, now through in a few hundred giant jungle cats and you are bordering on insanity. At first, I thought this would be a feel good “nature vs. nurture” type of animal movie. The kind that shows these vicious beasts could be trusted….I thought that until “If Disney made The Swiss Family Robinson into a snuff film” critique. Sure enough, this movie isn’t at all what I thought. Here’s my question though, how in the name of Bill Paxton do you control that many wild animals on the set of a movie? I feel like 99% of this movie was freestyled and the actors were just trying to stay alive while on the set. Also, how the HELL do you insure a movie like this? I can see the proposal to the insurance company now…”Yeah so it’s this movie in the middle of the jungle and we have 150+ lions and tigers attacking humans……..CGI? No, they’re real lions and tigers.”

“No animals were harmed in the making of this movie”, ok, but what about humans?



Here is a live look at some behind the scenes/actual footage from the movie. Something tells me the blood is real.

TRAILER ALERT – Star War: The Force Awakens Teaser #2

Be still my beating heart, Chewy and Han are back! This is going to be so awesome! I’m going to watch this roughly 7,000,000,000 times, or until the movie comes out, whatever comes first.


PS – “My father has it”……HAS?!?!?!?!?!

Average Nobodies Podcast – Ep 11


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