Monster Blog Wednesday: Exotic Pets

Monster Blog Wednesday is back in full swing. This week? Well, this week we offer up our choices for exotic pets. Simple right? NOPE. Here’s the kicker: We are counting extinct animals in our selections. Got yours? No? That’s ok, take a look at our picks for inspiration.

Wooly Mammouth

DSC_0017

Large, Majestic, and hairy, The Wooly Mammoth is my perfect spirit animal and pet! I really have no idea what these guys were like but I bet they were loyal as hell. Loyalty is one of the main personality traits i look for in a beast-friend. Secondly, this guy is is instant transportation. I will immediately be selling my car after this guy comes to live with me. Yeah, I might be late for everything I ever go to, but are you going to really hold it against me when I show up on a Wooly?

-Matt

PS- His name is Pete. Human names are hilarious for animals.

Rhinoceros

rhinoceros

I’ve always had a fascination with Rhinos for no apparent reason, so that’s as good a reason as any to pick it as my exotic pet. I also feel like Rhinoceros are discriminated against in pop culture. Would it kill Disney to create a sassy Rhinoceros character? The ultimate slap in the face came duringย the movie Madagascar; you picked a zebra over a rhino, Disney? Are you high?ย I’m hoping through my fictional adoption that the perception of Rhinos will go from “oh God I’m going to die” to “man that Rhino is sassy!”.

-Ryan

About MattFromRI

Bay saver, beer drinker, entrepreneur, wrestling fanatic, and professional dreamer.

Posted on March 26, 2014, in Monster Blog Wednesday, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. Is this even a question? The perfect pet is a Koala, not only are they adorable but they could pull a heel turn and scratch your friends face off without warning. Plus ill never have to take it for a walk, we can just sit on the couch with a snootchie wootchie bag and a pile of eucalypt leaves and get high while we watch Mel Brooks films all day. Oh yea, and his name would be Gregory, named after the late great reggae crooner Gregory Isaacs because both Gregory the Koala and Gregory Isaacs likes to take is slow. But really the best part of having a Koala as a pet is that hes a chick magnet… you think a bittie is gonna go anywhere near an animal that weighs 7000 lbs with a giant dildo sticking out of its forehead (or in the woolys case 2 dildos?!?!) I think not.

  2. Koala is a solid pick, but if we’re going solely on chick magnet animals, I’m picking a three toed sloth all day.

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