Raise your hand if your excited for Kevin Owens to debut. If your hands not raised I HATE YOU. Kevin Owens, formerly Kevin Steen of ROH, is debuting in NXT, following in the footsteps of former ROH stars CM Punk, Daniel Bryan, Seth Rollins and Cesaro. Owens is not your prototypical wrestler, as he’s heavier than most of the guys but isn’t particularly tall. While he may not be WWE’s ideal wrestler, he is a great performer. He’s tough, he’s stiff and he’s passionate. He had a great feud with Sami Zayn when he was El Generico in ROH, and as luck would have it, Steen’s debut on the 12/11 NXT live special is the same night Sami Zayn will challenge Adrian Neville for the NXT title with his career on the line. It’s a great time to be an NXT fan.
Holy guacamole. I haven’t been this excited to see vibrations since Marky Mark was a rapper. If you haven’t yet, it’s time to come to the conclusion that ‘Jurassic World’ is going to be insanely awesome. Dinosaurs. In 2014. I don’t think much more has to be said. Adding Chris Pratt into the mix is only going to make it better. The full trailer drops next Thursday.
WWE’s second longest running pay per view is this Sunday in St. Louis. Compared to Hell in a Cell, the build for most of these matches have been very good. The headliner is Team Cena vs. Team Authority, but we also have a few title matches and a grudge match that should steal the show. Fandango is also on the pre show fighting TBA. Is everyone excited for another Fandango push? Remember, you can watch it on the WWE Network for $9.9…actually it’s free this month. Let’s get to the predictions!
Nikki Bella vs. AJ Lee (C) – Divas Championship Match
If you haven’t been paying attention to WWE TV, Nikki Bella beat her sister Brie at Hell in a Cell and Brie is now Nikki’s assistant for 30 days. Paige lost to AJ Lee at Hell in a Cell and is now in a fight to the death with Alicia Fox and the other Total Diva’s. That leaves AJ vs. Nikki (with Brie) for our Diva’s Title match. Sunday ends in the letter Y, which means we’re going to hear rumors about AJ leaving the WWE, and while those are probably just rumors, I think Nikki wins here. The end game of this Bella feud has to end with champion Nikki facing challenger Brie, with Brie getting revenge on her sister and winning the Divas title.
Winner: Nikki Bella. Brie’s 30 day internship from hell is almost up, and when the Bella feud finally does resume, I’d like it to be centered around the Diva’s title.
Natalya & Emma & Naomi & Alicia Fox vs. Summer Rae & Cameron & Paige & Layla – Diva’s Survivor Series Elimination Match
If there were ever a match in the history of professional wrestling that could end in a draw, it would be this one. I really don’t know which team is going to win here, mostly because half of these Diva’s have not been on WWE TV consistently for awhile. My heart, mind and eyes are going with Team Summer Rae Lay Cam Paige, but I hate rooting for Cameron. I’d rather Hornswoggle be the WWE Champion than watch something nice happen to Cameron. If we’re going on momentum alone, I think Summer Rae’s team wins. Emma has not won a match since the Reagan administration, Alicia Fox alternates between losing to Paige and AJ, and Naomi has been losing to Cameron, which has to be the worst feeling in the world. Natalya could be their saving grace, but it seems WWE is more interested in her role as Tyson Kidd’s manager/cat watcher (and I don’t blame them. The Natalya/Tyson storyline is great).
Winner: Team Summer Rae Lay Cam Paige. And they all lived happily ever after.
Gold/Star Dust vs. The Uso’s vs. Miz & Mizdow vs. Los Matadores – Fatal 4 Way WWE Tag Team Championship Match
There are two ways this match can go: Gold and Stardust retain, and begin a feud with the Miz and Mizdow, or Miz and Mizdow win, and begin a feud with Gold and Stardust. The champs are the best team in this match, and they’re trying their very best to get the tag team division on the map. Miz & Mizdow are probably the best thing going in WWE right now, and the fans deserve to see a tag team title run with these two before the inevitable split. The Uso’s are The Uso’s: they’re going to slap their legs and jump over the top rope, but I’ve been sick of them since Summerslam. Los Matadores have been coming on strong lately, but I still view them as a secondary tag team, and if you’re really trying to establish your tag team division as top notch, Los Matadores as champs is not the answer.
Winner: Miz and Mizdow. Mizdow is my spirit animal right now, and it’s about time he had a real title to hold (although the fake IC belt was glorious). Miz is at his best with someone else to play off of, and who better than a guy who plays his character better than anyone else on the roster. I expect Gold and Stardust to stay in the fold as challengers for the belts, but Sunday is Mizdow’s time to shine.
Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt
When Bray Wyatt came back at Hell in a Cell and cost Ambrose his match with Rollins, I was ready for an old school feud with a classic promo duel. That’s…not exactly what we got. I love Bray Wyatt. His presentation is unmatched and he’s getting better in the ring. BUT, his promos are now his downfall. When he originally debuted with the Wyatt Family, his in ring/backstage sermons were awesome. We hadn’t seen someone consistently deliver meaningful promos like Wyatt did in a long time, if ever. Unfortunately, every big feud he was put in, he lost. So his meaningful promos about how he was going to “change people” or how he wanted them to “see the monster inside themselves” sounded like bullshit. When he re debuted at HIAC, I was hoping the message in his promos would change a bit, especially since he was going up against a loose cannon like Dean Ambrose. You’re not going to change Dean Ambrose. You don’t have to tell him you understand him or that he’s a monster just like you. The only thing Dean Ambrose listens to is physicality. Wyatt stopped Ambrose from finally getting revenge on his best friend who turned his back on him and stepped on the back on his head while his face was laying on cinderblocks. Does Bray Wyatt really think Dean Ambrose is going to hang out and listen to a 5 minute promo after that? Ambrose is going to come in guns blazing, which is why Wyatt should have been attacking Ambrose from behind, then delivering his message. If Ambrose is upright, he’s going to fight, plain and simple. I hope this isn’t a one and done match for these two, and no one needs a big win right now more than Wyatt. With Rollins most likely feuding with Orton upon his return, I think keeping these two paired together is something that will really pay off for the WWE.
Winner: Bray Wyatt. It could be a clean win, or maybe The Ascension finally debut as Wyatt’s cronies. These two should tear each other apart, and it should be fun to see Wyatt involved in his first PPV match since Summerslam. Ambrose doesn’t need to win, which is the beauty of his character. He gets a lot of moral victories because he kicks the crap out of his opponents. Wyatt on the other hand, can’t lose clean, so I’m going with the swamp master.
Team Authority (Seth Rollins, Rusev, Mark Henry, Kane, Luke Harper & Cesaro (?)) vs. Team Cena (John Cena, Ryback, Erik Rowan, Big Show & Dolph Ziggler) – Traditional Survivor Series Elimination Match
The added stipulations for this match are 1. If Team Cena wins, The Authority is out of power and 2. If The Authority wins, everyone on Team Cena EXCEPT John Cena is fired. I’m no wrestling genius, but if it walks like a duck, and it talks like a duck, it’s probably a duck. The duck in this case being Team Cena turning on John Cena and beating the ever loving crap out of him. It helps that ever member on Team Cena has been an enemy of John Cena at one point or another. Technically you can say that about the entire roster, but if I was Cena, I wouldn’t be too comfortable with my team. If The Authority wins, Cena would probably disappear for a bit, which would be a risky move by the WWE, especially while some major players are out with injuries/filming movies, but it would be the right call. Let Rollins, Ambrose, Wyatt, Cesaro, Rusev carry the torch while Barrett, Reigns and Orton will be back by December/January. Give Cena time off to do his Hollywood thing, then he can come back and cash in his #1 contender win at HIAC to face Lesnar. Right now, they should be showcasing the shit out of their young guns leading into WrestleMania season. Cena is not going to be around forever, so the quicker the WWE establishes legitimate stars the better off they’ll be in the long run. The only problem with this is it requires John Cena to lose in the main event of a pay per view. The flip side is Team Cena winning, The Authority being out of power and someone else taking over Monday Night Raw. Vince? Cena? The heir to the authoritative throne could be anyone, and while that could be a fun storyline, I don’t trust WWE that much.
Winner: Team Authority. This is my heart winning out over my mind, as I also predicted Randy Orton to beat Cena at HIAC and become the #1 contender. LOL.
Have an old N64 controller with a loose or broken joystick? Fear not! Here is a tutorial on how to replace your joystick with a brand new one on the cheap! REJOICE!
THE BELLAS ARE BACK! May 15 cannot come soon enough. Can I be put into hibernation until then?
PS – I spy the Green Bay Packers.
PSS- How the FUCK did I miss auditions?!!?!?!?
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— Saturday Night Live (@nbcsnl) November 20, 2014
— Saturday Night Live (@nbcsnl) November 20, 2014
— Saturday Night Live (@nbcsnl) November 20, 2014
Coming off their best episode of the season, SNL just announced their hosts and musical guests for the month of December. The main thing that jumps out at you concerning Franco, Freeman and Amy Adams is their versatility. The writers and cast members should have a grand old time coming up with sketches and characters for these three hosts. Out of the three, I’m most excited for Martin Freeman, especially after his amazing turn as Lester Nygaard on FX’s Fargo adaptation. I’m expecting a Hobbit sketch during his episode, or maybe even a faux Hobbit trailer now that SNL has proved they can create movie quality fake trailers. Cameron Diaz hosts this Saturday, and then it’s on to December!
BP – He continues to smite bad guys as a hammer-wielding Norse god in The Avengers, will fight off a terrorist hacker in Michael Mann’s upcoming cyber thriller, Blackhat, and battle a whale in Ron Howard’s In the Heart of the Sea, but there was no contest when it came to naming Aussie Chris Hemsworth this year’s Sexiest Man Alive.
Usually I’d pining for Clooney in this spot, but he’s already won it like 15 times so I understand giving somebody else a chance. What I don’t understand is the arrogance of this article and picking Chris Hemsworth. There was no contest? I happen to know a certain 59 year old man from Forth Worth, Texas who disagrees. Fact: Bill Paxton discovered the Titanic. Fact: Bill Paxton saved Helen Hunt from a goddamn twister. Fact: Bill Paxton went to the moon. Fact: Bill Paxton saved Mighty Joe Young. That’s pretty sexy to me. What has Chris Hemsworth done? Yes he was Thor and Captain Kirk’s dad (which still technically makes him Captain Kirk, I think), but in the grand scheme of things, we’re not talking about the land of make believe. I can pretend to be a superhero and some nerd on a fake spaceship. Bill Paxton actually did all of those things. They’re not movies to Bill Paxton, they are REAL LIFE. If that’s not the definition of sexy, then I don’t know what is.