Trailer Alert: Creed

Avon Barksdale is training Wallace andddd I’m in. I stopped doubting the characters Sly Stallone created around Rambo 2, so there’s no doubt in my mind that this movie is going to be great. The guy just knows how to create characters for the big screen, and the fact that this is directed by Ryan Coogler, who directed Michael B. Jordan in ‘Fruitvale Station’, only makes it that much better. Jordan plays Adonis Johnson, the son of Rocky Balboa’s frenemy Apollo Creed who was killed by Dolph Lundgren (in real life!). A couple ‘Wire’ alums chumming it up mixed in with some good old fashioned sage advice from Sylvester Stallone? Sign me up. I will buy all the tickets to this one.

– Ryan

Nothing Like Watching A 20 Month Old Baby Climb A Rock Wall To Make You Feel Like A Lump Of Shit

I say this with as little sarcasm as possible: watching this 20 month old baby climb a rock wall really makes me question my athleticism. I’m pretty sure I could do this, but that’s really not the point. A 20 month old baby can do this, so a 27 year old fully grown male doing the same thing isn’t really that impressive. The fact that I have to think twice about whether or not I can do this is hands down one of the saddest moments of my life. Congrats to this overachiever, but maybe slip up a bit to make the rest of us feel better.

– Ryan

Ronda Rousey’s Outtake Video From Her SI Swimsuit Photo Shoot Is Very Nice

Ronda Rousey did an SI Swimsuit photo shoot, and there’s now an outtake video online. It’s pretty wonderful, as is Ronda Rousey. What’s seriously not to love about her. She’s an ass kicker. She loves wrestling. She seems like a lovely human being. And she’s also very easy on the eyes. My only question is how do you get to be the guy who rubs her down before the shoot? You could pay me in barrels of peas and I’d still be down for that job.

– Ryan

Chris Did Not React Well To His Elimination On ‘The Bachelorette’ Last Night

I’m going to preface this by saying that I do not watch ‘The Bachelorette”. It’s on the same day and time as Raw, so it’s just not meant to be, but anytime somebody reacts like this to being eliminated from a reality show about fake love, I have to blog about it. It’s in my tiger/blogger blood to give my two cents. Chris got eliminated by Kaitlyn, and he didn’t take it so well. They also took Chris to what looks like the edge of the cliff just to let him know he was being eliminated, then just kind of let him sit there and cry. Seems kind of cruel. Is this what “The Bachelorette” has become? Granted I don’t know what it was originally, but this is some cold blooded stuff. Just breaking his heart then sticking a camera in his face while he completely breaks down. I know this is all scripted, but somebody should check on Chris. Things aren’t OK at home.

– Ryan

5 Stars From Last Night’s #RAW

Raw was live from our nation’s capital last night. It was the final Raw before the big ol’ show in Tokyo Saturday morning and we’re heading towards the home stretch on the road to Battleground. Cesaro stole the show, Paige still doesn’t have any friends and Kane looked STRONG. Let’s get to the five stars from last night’s Raw.

1. Paige

So Paige still has no friends, but she wrestled a good match against Alicia Fox and actually won, so she’s on the list. I’m really hoping that this turns into an NXT/Divas feud, with Charlotte, Sasha, Becky Lynch and company coming to Paige’s aid. For now, the Paige/Bella Twins/Alicia Fox feud is ok, but at this point, every Bella Twins feud seems the same to me. The Bella Twins are the entitled reformed models who are handed everything on a silver platter in fake wrestling and who date/are married to the two most popular superstars outside of the ring. Paige is the polar opposite. She’s 22, has already wrestled all around the world and cares about the wrestling aspect of the business more than the show business/Total Divas aspect of it. It’s a good story to tell, but the WWE has been telling it forever, whether it be with AJ, Naomi or now Paige. It’s ok for the WWE to broaden your storyline horizons and come up with different storylines for these Divas. I think we’d all be pleasantly surprised if they did.

2. Cesaro (and John Cena)

The rest of this Raw could’ve been Mark Henry eating a meatball sub in his underwear and I’d still love it. After a bluff by Kevin Owens, Cesaro fought John Cena for the US title and it was one of the best TV matches of the year. I know we still have 5 months left, but there’s not much that’s going to top that. Cesaro is my favorite wrestler and now that Bryan is out, he’s probably the best wrestler on the roster. Maybe he’s not Dusty Rhodes on the microphone or The Rock in the charisma department, but he’s the most versatile guy on the roster, and he understands match pacing. The benefit of having a guy like Cesaro who has wrestled all over the world is that he can wrestle any style of match. When you see a John Cena match, unless it’s against a guy like Cesaro or Owens who knows different styles of wrestling, you know what you’re going to get. Cena came up through WWE and has stayed there, so he’s going to wrestle a WWE match. But with Cesaro, he understands that you can’t just light the world on fire for 20 minutes, especially on a Raw, so you start slow and build to the finish. He also happens to be in better shape than anybody, and can simultaneously snatch 250 pound John Cena out of the air and then drop kick him off the top rope from a standing position. I loved everything about this, and Cena deserves  credit too, because he was every bit as good in this match. If this leads to a triple threat for the US title I might die of happiness.

3. Prime Time Players

Titus O’Neil hot tags continue to be one of my favorite things, and this is a perfect example of keeping the champs looking good while getting a bunch of guys some TV time. Darren and Titus have looked great since getting the belts, and the Lucha Dragons are always fun to watch. Bo Dallas and New Day are the most logical combination because they’re essentially all the same characters. I was kind of hoping for a quick Bo promo to address the Rock stealing his thunder at the Boston house show, but I’ll settle for the merry go round tag ins and stomps in the corner from Bo and the New Day. At this point, there really isn’t another bonafide tag team in the division outside of New Day and PTP, so hopefully this feud keeps going. Tyson Kidd is out for awhile, as is Erick Rowan. Maybe when the hurt Uso twin gets back the Uso’s can get back into the title picture, but for now I’m fine with the New Day and PTP duking it out over the tag belts.

4. Sheamus

Mr. MITB Sheamus hasn’t gotten off to the best start as the briefcase holder, but last night’s match with Neville was a good start. Booking the MITB winner is hard because you want him to be a big part of your show while also kind of blending into the background. If you keep featuring him in big spots and have him talk about cashing in, the actual cash in loses some of its luster. At the same time, you don’t want people to entirely forget about him either. WWE did it right with Rollins in that they put him in feuds that didn’t necessarily center around the briefcase, so they could feature him in big time matches without people focusing only on the case. Sheamus/Neville is definitely something I’d be interested in, as Sheamus is at his best when his opponent isn’t afraid to take a beating, and Neville is one of the best ‘sellers’ on the roster. Sheamus is still kind of boring, but at least he’s winning matches.

5. KANE (Just Kidding) Roman Reigns

So Kane main evented Raw. Let’s just let that soak in for a second. He and Seth Rollins took on Ambrose and Reigns in a no DQ match, which was basically a regular tag match with a kendo stick. The match itself was fine, but Reigns took the beating at the end so well, and he looked as good as he did at WM 30 when Brock Lesnar was beating the shit out of him. I don’t know what’s next for Reigns, but the crowd is back on his side again, so hopefully he’s able to be more of himself rather some rambling, fairy tale spewing promo machine. He’s not John Cena, and that is all sorts of a good thing. Let him be a Samoan SWAT team member who kicks everyone’s ass and looks cool doing it. Also, let Kane actually vacation in Hawaii and never book him a plane ticket home.

– Ryan

 

The Rock Surprised The WWE Universe At A House Show In Boston On Saturday & Are You God Damn Kidding Me!?

Reaction GIF: are you kidding me?

The ONE event I don’t go to in Boston, not only does Chris Jericho wrestle, but The Rock decides to drop by out of the goodness of his heart. I’m thrilled for everyone who was there, but this is some bullshit. My friends and I go to every WWE event in Providence and Boston, and the one time we slip up, greatness happens. Apparently The Rock came out to confront Bo Dallas, which just sounds amazing. I really think The Rock is just obsessed with being the man, because this was an unannounced and unnecessary appearance. He could have laid low and enjoyed his down time during his movie shoot, but instead he’s showing up to WWE live events and making people go ape shit. Awesome stuff.

– Ryan

Ed Sheeran Joined The Rolling Stones Onstage For A ‘Beast of Burden’ Cover & It Was So God Damn Good

Welp, I’m forever jealous of whoever was in the crowd in Kansas City to see this duet. The Rolling Stones are somehow still going strong and touring, and Ed Sheeran just happens to pop in and not only collaborate a song, but collaborate on BEAST OF BURDEN. This would be like if Magic Johnson was playing some kind of charity basketball game and out comes Kobe Bryant to play shooting guard. If you start off a sentence with ‘Ed Sheeran live music’ there’s a 100% chance that the sentence is going to end with ‘was amazing’, and that’s exactly what this was.  I’m not sure why they landed on Kansas City for the place where this needed to happen, but I’m green with jealous rage.

– Ryan

via UPROXX

Trailer Alert: ‘I Am Chris Farley’

“Infuriatingly talented”. Towards the end of the trailer for ‘I Am Chris Farley’, the documentary about the tragic comedic actor Chris Farley, Lorne Michaels describes a small group of people he’s worked with in show business as ”infuriatingly talented”. There’s no doubt in my mind that Chris Farley is on that list, and he may even be at the top. He was a force of nature whenever he was on screen, whether it was SNL, the movie screen or even a talk show. He was like a bright light, in that every time you saw him, all your attention was drawn to him. Personally, he’s one of my favorite comedic actors ever, and to think he had such an impact and died at 33 goes to show you how special he was. The documentary features of a who’s who of comedy legends and personal friends of Farley’s giving their insight into his life and career, including Adam Sandler, David Spade, Dan Aykroyd and Jay Mohr. The world television premiere is set for August 10th at 10pm on Spike TV, and you can go to iamchrisfarley.com for all the details and updates.

– Ryan

Vernon Davis’s Performance Last Season Makes A lot More Sense After Watching Him On ‘Family Feud’

Vernon Davis didn’t have the greatest season last year. He was hurt, yes, but he played in 14 games and finished with 26 catches and two touchdowns, which is…not good. While his physical ailments may have healed in the offseason, it’s clear from this Family Feud clip that he is also mentally unhinged. While the ‘stripper’ comment was kind of funny, the ‘feet’ comment was just disturbing. There’s no need to go all Rex Ryan on us and air your foot fetishes out in public. Let’s worry about hands and catching the ball so the 49ers don’t suck again.

P.S. Steve Harvey is the best game show host of all the times.

– Ryan

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